Mother and brother have lived together in my parents house for almost 50 years—includes last 10 yrs since my fathers passing. Ready to put 92 yr old mom into AL hopefully before holidays. Recently learned they have major cockroach infestation so exterminators are being checked out. Preparing for this involves deep cleaning and washing and packing in plastic all clothing, dishes, etc. kitchen, closets, bedrooms, attic etc must be cleaned, bagged and area sprayed once and again in 30 days. Brother is a hoarder and entire 2nd floor is stacked from floor to ceiling with tools, furniture, etc I’m surprised the weight of everything has not caved in to 1st floor. Brother is refusing to move his stuff out. Does not think mother is ready for AL. I’m thinking if social services come, both will be required to move to a safer environment. Mother is ready for AL and knows it’s time to sell the house to support her care. Is there any other options besides an eviction notice to force my brother to get his stuff out of there or let it be sold in an estate sale?
Your uncle needs to be made aware of this. Get your mom into an AL now before social services gets involved because they will put both of them into nursing homes, not AL facilities.
I For not believe Social Services can come in your home without your permission.
You can only file an Eviction if you own the home or you have the Authority to sell the home.
Do you a Dr's note from your mom's Dr saying she shouldn't live in her home with your brother taking care of her?
Your mother may not want to go to a Senior home?
If both mom and brother show up in Eviction Court and they both want to continue living together in the family home, more than likely, the Judge will not grant your Eviction.
If mom really wants to stay in her home, she should be allowed to.
If there is a Roach Infestation, it can be recorded when you call and have Adult Social Service do a well check on your mom but your brother will be given time to do the extermination and they would schedule another visit to check.
BUT Even the Social Service can't make her move if she tells them she wants to stay in her home, especially since she has her son living with her and she's not alone.
Yes, going to have a problem getting rid of the infestation because they have to work from top to bottom. If you do the bottom, then the roaches go to the top. Can you get the exterminator to talk to brother? Is there someplace you can put his hoard temporarily, like rent a Pod? Because those roaches are probably in that stuff too.
It isn't social services, per se, but it puts both the police and your brother on notice that they'll be keeping an eye on things.
My mom is a hoarder and they come in and treat for bugs with no problem.
Removing items only spreads the vermin, they should be contained for eradication.
I would check into bombing, this would require a few nights in a hotel and could give your mom a change of scenery to see how she does.
Can you clarify if your mom wants to go into care or you think it is time. She is ready can be read both ways.
Maybe doing it that way or a welfare check on her.
Prayers that you can move her and get your brother out of the house.
If the house is currently structurally unsound I would call APS and possibly the local fire department as well to report the situation and to at least get your mom and brother on the radar screens of the authorities.
So sorry you are dealing with all of this.
The garage is now overrun with rats and mice--slowing chewing to pieces almost all of L's possessions. The kids are left alone many hours in the day and they run wild.
CPS has been called numerous times. They NEVER called first. As bad as her situation is, it's still deemed 'better' for the kids that foster care. SMH.
She is now on the radar and CPS makes spot visits, which drive her crazy, but there's nothing she can do about it.
If your mother's part of the house is infested, so is brothers. Roaches don't follow the rules and stay in one place. Eradicating them completely is almost impossible, but can be done.
I am continually surprised at the seemingly low standards that are set to qualify someone to live in filth and disarray and still be considered safe.
My view may differ (I am just a stranger on a forum afterall!)
I see the cockroachs like shells on the beach. You can look down at them, the sheer number, get overwhelmed. If you look up, to the horizon, the waves are coming in. Big waves bringing big changes 🌊
If your Mom has capacity to decide to stay or go for herself - she decides. If she wants to go, she sells her home. Brother deals with that consequence - either buys the home himself or moves out.
If Mom was no longer capable (eg if adv dementia) then legal guardianship sought & appointed, then transfer to AL/Memory Care. Home sold by legal guardian. Brother evicted.
So unless Mom decides to stay put - change is coming. (If she does stay, change will be delayed, but will still eventually come).
Your Brother may have heard the words but have real denial about this fact. As a long term hoarder he may need substantial social/mental health support & may benefit from a case manager or social worker. Depending on his age, even AL too?
It is not up to you to convince him or fix his denial. I think in your shoes I would try to locate a social worker with experience in these family dynamics/elder matters & go from there. Ask Mom what SHE wants to do & help support her towards that. Many hoarders do want to live differently but lack the skills to plan or do it. Your Brother may settle well into his own AL apartment near Mom.