my mother has a doctor's appt coming up to go over blood work and evaluate her conditon. My brother and I plan on both going to the appt but the last time she became upset after we left apparently because she was uncomfortable with both of us there. I understand that this is mostly the disease talking and I plan on asking her well before we go whether she wants me there or not. Do I simply let my brother go and wait for his report? I feel this is an important appt and that an extra set of ears and possibly questions wouldn't hurt. What should I do? I should say that she has already mentioned that she has an appt that he is taking her to.
I would call the doctor's nurse and talk to her/him about it. The nurse is the conduit to the doctor and will happily pass on your concerns and possibly have a recommendation as to how to make it more comfortable to have you both there. When my daughter lived closer the two of us always went to my wife's doctor's appointments. My daughter was always able to pick up on some nuances or things that I was not able to.
I keep a log of pertinent activities and after I see the doctor I add her recommendations and suggestions to the log. A week or so before we see the doctor, I mail or drop off the log at the doctor's office. That gives the doctor time to look over the log and tell me if I misunderstood what she was telling me. She can also pick up some mistakes I might make during the period and we discuss those also. There are also times when I have done things that she says she is putting in her notebook for recommending to other patients.
Hope this helps.