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Last month, I tore my PCL, Meniscus and also the tendons that connect the Patella to the Tibia in both knees. I am in a lot of pain, cannot walk anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be able to walk again.


Am having so much trouble taking care of my 86 year old Mom. She is also in a wheelchair and is low vision. Has had several strokes in the past.


I can barely do it, it's so hard. I have to drag myself around with a Walker, and also have a wheelchair, but I can't reach anything with it in the kitchen/laundry - and I'm exhausted. It's so difficult.


And, of course - we have NO other family, only friends are 2,600 miles away, and we don't know our neighbors (new to the area for a few months) and there's this virus situation, where I can't hire any help at all right now. Everyone is self-isolating social distancing in my county, ... so it's me and only me.


Any advice? (other than Nursing Home/Assisted Living, as that can never be an option for either of us - so please, it won't be at all helpful to me to give advice in that direction. Thank you, kindly)


And, I have to prepare all of the meals, and do all the cleaning, daily laundry & taking out the trash, getting mail, bringing in groceries that are delivered by dragging my legs in a walker. I can stand up in one place for 15-20 seconds at a time. But, can't actually walk without the walker.
Sorry so long, : )


Any ideas, please? I'm hoping my legs will heal some ... but, it 's been 3 weeks and they have not.

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So, why is a NH not an option?
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With a little more information, you will find there are options for your knees to heal.
Do not give up.
Start by using ice.

See it as a 2-6 wk. challenge to figure out how many things:
1) You can do without.
2) Mom can do without.
3) Can you call a neighbor to bring in your mail after 4 days? No, new neighbors? I would call grubhub to deliver something, and ask the delivery person to bring in your mail.

Note:
The mail delivery person is trained to notice if someone is not picking up their mail and a senior may live there. Maybe they will bring it to your door.
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anonymous904794 Mar 2020
Thank you, I like the idea of setting mini-goals like that. As, hopefully this won't be forever.

Too bad we moved away from where we used to live and had kind & helpful neighbors there.

I did ask for help from a neighbor after I got hurt, and was denied. They're not very friendly in this neighborhood. I will not forget that lesson...

Hadn't thought of Grub Hub. Have never used a service like that before, just WalMart delivery.

Great idea, I'll look into that. Thank you
And will also work on setting goals instead of feeling sorry for myself.
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I don't think your'e feeling sorry for yourself at all.I think your'e in pain and everything is harder when your'e in pain.
A heating pad and ice might help alot if you can do them before your tasks but other than that and setting small goals,I think it's just going to take more time to heal.
Take care as best as you can~
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anonymous904794 Mar 2020
Thank you, Luckulu. I appreciate your kind answer. Yes, things are just harder now and they will get better over time & I need to be patient and improve slowly. : )
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Thank you all for your support. Am feeling much more positive about things! Life goes on, my legs will eventually heal. I will probably always need to use a Walker/Rollator, and that's fine.
When this virus/social isolation time ends - we will hire some help, as we originally planned.
Thank you again, the suggestions are very helpful.

Edited to add: My Mom is happy with her care, our lives are happy. I've learned there's more to me than a pair of legs. My heart and soul remains the same - so it's just a matter of time to adjust to life the way it is now, and we can do that.

I really do appreciate the time ya'all took to offer advice.
: )
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LoopyLoo Mar 2020
I don't mean to be insensitive, but you seem to be in a bit of denial... torn up knees WILL NOT HEAL AS THEY OUGHT if you do not get some sort of treatment. This isn't something ice packs and propping up will fix. You're suffering and it's hard! You need help, and that's okay. Your resistance to any other suggestion but toughing this out and not getting treatment is what's concerning to me.

I never said you aren't taking great care of your mother under the circumstances; I'm sure you are. What I was saying is that you won't be able to keep caring for her and not take care of yourself and your injuries. You're not a bad person. Just overwhelmed.

Of course you love your mother and want to care for her and you're doing the best you can! That is obvious. Of course you're more than a pair of legs!

You can't disregard your physical body AND care for your mother without losing one or the other. Please at least see an orthopedist and explain you are a caretaker. My mother was able to get physical therapy at home when she broke her leg.
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Well if nobody else is going to ask -

How on earth did you manage to do that to yourself?! What happened?
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anonymous904794 Mar 2020
No response necessary.
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What a great idea to go online and get your PT Olivia~Good for you!
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anonymous904794 Mar 2020
Thank you, the online PT videos are working. Makes me feel a little stronger.
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"Am having so much trouble taking care of my 86 year old Mom."

Options;
#A Hire home help. See what you quality for or self-pay.

#B Move to where there is help provided. A place with full levels of care, with IL or AL for you & either AL or NH for Mum.

Sorry but I can't think of any other real options.

There are no magical cures for injury, medical ailments or age. I wish there were.
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LoopyLoo Mar 2020
She seems very distrustful of medical care at all. She's not giving us the whole story.
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Why dont you and/or mom qualify for Medicaid?
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In our county they have set up a hotline for elders that need assistance in their homes with meals, meds and just questions. I actually called it yesterday with a question and got an immediate answer. Your profile doesn’t state where you’re located, so can you search on line in your county for such a hotline?
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anonymous904794 Mar 2020
That was one of the first things I did, with the help of a friend across the country who is in social work. Was told I needed to be on Medicaid to receive any help, and I do not qualify for Medicaid and that they are unable to help me, sorry.

So, thought I'd come here for suggestions.
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Meals on Wheels, for both of you... look it up.

Ask Your Doctors...Yes, Both Of You for PALLIATIVE CARE....
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