I am sole caregiver for mom who has dementia for more than 8 years, I feel horrible for telling my mom you are sh*t. and this is the second time I do that in my life. I just lost my temper. I called mom with this after I spend an hour trying to change her diaper and cloths. all feces on her cloths and diaper. I tried first nicely even I think I was stressed and exhausted. I spent nights sleeping only two to three hours only just to prevent the dirt go outside the bathroom or when I hear something I jump from my bed check on my mom make sure she is okay and did not fall this is going on for months and months. I am so tired and I am fogy. I know this is not an excuse to call mom a name. I do love mom and I feel so horrible. I feel I am really bad ugly daughter. Some time I wish I die for being some time rude to mom. I know God will punish me one day when I get old. Someone much younger than me will treat me hatefully. HATE MYSELF. I pray to God to forgive me. But God will not forgive me each time if I repeat it.
How can I control my temper when I am so tired and fatigue. Mom deserve the best
we still have some money . Good luck and bless all of you brave people.
I desperately needed a break ( dad has only been with me one year but his medical needs have been overwhelming).
When dad fell I used it to my advantage and told the doctor that dad could not come home because he needed additional supervision while he regained his strength and I was unable to provide it. The doctor referred a case manager to us and they arranged to him to go to a nursing home for two weeks.
My advise, if you have this care available to you, take full advantage of it. REALLY build up that mom needs assistance walking becauae of the pain associated with walking with the diverticulitis, that thou are unable to have her art home until she can manage a little better on her own. I'd leave the diaper diaperissue out of the equation - isn't she having this problem BECAUSE of the divertriculitis? In my dad's case the stay itself was covered but they mandated medical transport that wasn't covered. I told them that he didn't have the money to pay and I wasn't in a position to cover his medical expenses; they ended up waiving the transport fees.
I had the best 2 weeks that he was there. - they changed my life. With the advise from people on this site giving me the emotional strength I needed, I took my home and my life back and things have been much better since dad has returned home.
Good luck. Ive lifted a prayer of strength for you and one of thanks fur the wonderful job you're doing.
I shift my focus inward and don't look her in the face until I feel calm again. Above all, I do not speak.
Sometimes it's difficult to remember that Mom's difficult behavior isn't a personal attack on me. She can't help it. I try and approach the task at hand as just another item on my to-do.
Blessings for a peaceful existence for both of you.
We found a convent - Sister Servants of Mary - their sole ministry is to sit at night with the sick and the dying to give the family a break. When my 90 year old father was dying. He is gone now.
Sometimes when I get angry and say harsh things they are things that need to be said and that my 91 year old Mom needs to hear.
I am the sole caregiver for my Mom but I have several people - my son is one -who watch her no charge on a regular basis so I can get out and live a normal life for a few hours a week. Also a cousin of hers picks her up and takes her to church.
Found a home schooling network and paid a teenager $8 an hour to come sit do her homework while I went out. I do however prefer volunteer sitters.
Ask your Higher Power of God as you understand Him for help.
Keep the faith - this too shall pass.