My mother was recently moved to assisted living after sustaining a fall out of her wheel chair, and achieving a level of incapacity that exceeded the skills of the family member who was caring for her. Since going into the assisted living environment and following a hygiene and activity routine, my mother is thriving and is once again engaged and conversational. She is a type A extrovert and the new environment has been good for her.
Unfortunately, the family member in question feels inclined to disrupt the routine and take my mother out of the facility and back to her home for a two week visit.
How disruptive will this be to an elder with advance dementia, and will it just increase her level of uncertainty and confusion?
Regards,
Denise
Try and use all the influence you have to prevent this. Mom is happy and adjusted in the current situation don't run the risk of making her dementia worse with a visit such as this.
You've got to put your foot down. Leave her be. If she is happy and settled,then that's a wonderful thing. To pull her away from that is just mean
If she's taken out for 2 weeks, she has to readjust to a new environment, only to have a second adjustment when she returns to the facility.
Beyond this, I'm wondering why this family member wants to do this, and for 2 weeks specifically. Is this member thinking of using this as a trial to take her out of the facility completely? W/o insulting anyone, are there control and financial issues involved?
What could result is wandering; she might try to leave the house and find the facility, getting lost, possibly getting hurt, and definitely being in jeopardy physically, emotionally and mentally.
Perhaps you could talk to the staff on the physician level and ask them to explain how inappropriate and dangerous for her health this 2 week episode would be.
Good luck - I hope you are able to quash this rather bad idea of your family member.
@Hebnerde, I would just encourage you to be as diplomatic and constructive as possible, especially in talking with the family member who presumably is hoping to provide "a treat," as someone else put it.
This family member may indeed be trying to relieve guilt over the move to a facility, or just may not realize how disruptive a two-week visit is.
Emphasize to that person and to everyone else that your highest priority is to maintain the well-being and stability of your mother with dementia, and that the best way to do that is to maintain her living routine and not move her. You can say that you researched this, and everyone with experience was unanimous in advising against a short-term move.
If possible, express appreciation to the family member for wanting to spend time with this person with dementia (or otherwise wanting to do something nice for her), and try to find other ways this might be possible.
In short, do the right thing by your mom while being as constructive as you can. Good luck!
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