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Not just at night all the time. When he walks with his walker with me right beside him, He watches each step he makes and holds on to the walker with a death grip. Its almost impossible to get him in the tub or the car. And when I try to undress him ,he acts like I'm hurting him. When I ask him if that hurt he says "no". He does it with the lady I have coming in 1 day a week also. He's never fallen or been hurt and he wasn't afraid of anything when he was younger. I accidentally barely stepped on his toe the other day and you would have thought I killed him. Does any one else have these issues. It's making me crazy.
thank-you Linda

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Debrakgray, your post just reminded me that Dad asked me to take him over to get his glasses adjusted. Maybe your mom's glasses are bothering her and she isn't verbalizing it. Dad mentioned his hearing aids were bothering him yesterday and we agreed to leave one out for a few days. I try to let him make as many of his own decisions as he can without feeling anxious. He also likes the old simpler TV shows like Mayberry RFD and would just as soon I run the errands without him.
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My mom (Who is in moderate dementia now) is also sensitive to noises and too many people around her. She is now getting a bit unsteady on her feet. She will retreat to her room when our house gets more than two more people in it (we do have a large family, 8 kids, their spouses and 21 1/2 grandkids.) Throughout all of this, I just tell her that I am here to make sure she is safe, and constantly ask if there is anything I need to do for her. I used to make sure she was walking a fair distance each day, but our altitude is difficult on her (4700 ft.) She is supposed to be on oxygen, but won't wear it and should wear her glasses, but doesn't. I keep suggesting that she wear them, but I can't force her to do that. More often now, she sits on the couch and watches old movies and television shows. I try to get her out a few times a week, grocery shopping, have her hair done and other errands, and she enjoys that. Humor plays a big part in our lives.
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Reading at this site, talking with doctors and researching dementia. has helped me to understand that dementia is going to cause my loved one to go through many phases and that often there is no real explanation or fix for it. The brain is not working properly and the behavior may or may not even out. Medications are an option when possible. Kind reassurance is good too, but often the patient forgets the reassurance from one minute to the next. So even if you explain to a patient that they are safe, they are protected and that they cannot fall, they forget those assurance within 5 minutes.

My goal for my loved one is to at least have her content. Since her memory prevents her from benefiting from being comforted verbally, I feel medication may be her best option.
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This is a good post. I didn't realize the dementia is probably responsible for Dad's ultra sensitivity. He thinks I am breaking the dishes when I put them away and is very nervous about walking. When he gets a flu shot, he screws up his face like a kid in anticipation of the worst.
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I love this site!!! Right after the first response, I felt so bad for not knowing this . I have read so many things on ALZ but I am still learning and I have been with him 7 years. This last year he's gone from moderate to alot worse. And yes he is working with only one eye. He had surgery on his right eye 2 years ago and thats when we found out his left eye was too far gone. But he never showed any signs of not being able to see ,so I always forget. Now that I know all this about the reason for his fears, I am much more understanding and patient with him and I feel so guilty for not knowing. Thanks again you guys!! On a better note I get 2 days in a row off this week , boyfriend is taking me to a resort!!!!! 1st minication in 7 years woohoo!!
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My mil took a spill and broke her hip. After the healing process, the physical therapy...she still had the same death grip as you describe. Not to mention she was blind in one eye. Her depth perception was way off, so, along with her walker, we installed grab bars everywhere she might need them to grab onto in an instant. She grew to understand where they were, what they were for and helped quite a bit. She was 96 years old when she passed...but, I was with her 24/7...and thank goodness our floor creaked so I could JUMP!! I walked right behind her every step until she could no longer do it. I've been a caregiver for the past 15 years and have come to know that as time goes on...they do not like change. Help, yes...but not change. God bless you, and just keep reassuring him " everything is okay...I'm right here for you..." helped diminish some of the fear of falling. Huge hugs :) Hang in there
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It is my assumption that a lot of fear comes from the shrinking of one's time/space reference as their short-term memory fades and their cognition deteriorates. Their rapidly changing reality must be terribly frightening, in a way that we can only try to imagine - but cannot really fathom. As we struggle to care for them, we are usually far more aware of the increasing difficulty those things bring to our efforts than to what it must be like for them.
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Jessie Belle, that is a beautiful email. Very well scripted.

Linda I'm very sure all ALS sufferer's become very nervous of falling, as They feel a fall would end Their Life. My own Mum is two years into Als, and is petrified of falling as well, even though She's got a three wheel walker to safe guard Her.
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Sometimes with dementia, the fears are not based on anything. My cousin will cry and say she's afraid, but she won't know why. I just hug her and tell her it's going to be okay. I will say that Cymbalta REALLY HELPED with that and she did NOT have those fears when she was on Cymbalta. She was content and happy most of the time. She was taken off the Cymbalta for no real reason. We are going back to the doctor to have her put back on it or some other med. There is no reason they have to live with that fear, IMO, when medication can address/ Anti anxiety meds do not help that much.
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This is what I like most about this site is I am not alone others feel the same experiences as I do we may each have different senerios but they are all similar my favorite with my mom is please take the baby out from under me lol what baby mom there are no babies here......hmmmmm how our minds work
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Pretty sure some degree of this comes with dementia of any kind, not necessarily just ALZ. My mom (vascular dementia) is also a little more wary/frightened of things - particularly sounds. Seems EVERY sound alarms her, and she has to know what it is. ("I just set my cup down on the counter, mom." "I just closed the microwave door, mom.") I feel like a mouse, trying always to tiptoe around and make as little sound as possible.

Also deal with the "you're hurting me", no matter what care activity is taking place - changing clothes, washing, applying lotion. And all of those things are done with the greatest of gentle care. Some days it is unbearably unnerving and agitating to hear that lament (always in the back of my mind wondering how many caregivers throughout time may have been wrongfully accused of elder abuse!); other days when I am perhaps more fortified by prayer, I am able to face it with compassion and gently soothe while not exactly ignoring it, but allowing it to roll off my shoulders (not take it personally or let it agitate me). Because, as I'm sure others have found, letting their agitation cause you agitation just creates a vicious cycle of agitation feeding agitation! And at some point you have to realize that the one with dementia does not have the power to stop that cycle.

Once again, for what it's worth, it is comforting to hear others describe in detail some of the heartbreaking scenarios I deal with on a daily basis. That has happened enough on this site that I am now able to realize pretty much every oddity I encounter - even when it is new to me and I have never heard it mentioned before - I will be able to find another account of it on agingcare.com. This site is a great resource for information, encouragement, and support.
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Does it occur more during late afternoon this could also be sun downing syndrome.....my mom who has dementia and also is afraid of everything I just try to keep her calm late afternoon I make sure all lights are on in area she is in this seems to help
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As far as I know, my father doesn't have ALZ but does have some dementia and mental illness. He too is overly afraid of things. He sits in his recliner all day. I have told my brother about renovations that the 38-year-old house needs that I plan to do if I outlive my father. There is mold all over, holes in the floor/ceiling, and so on. One day, my brother told my father I wanted renovations, and my father who has been pretty calm since my mother passed got very agitated, screaming and cursing like he used to do but I could hear the intense fear in his voice. He is petrified of any change. I get that but I don't know what to do about it. He and I have never once had any kind of emotional discussion because he has always been just about the matter of fact things. So, I have no advice but know you're not alone.
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A sense of balance is thrown off it's like when you first get a pair of Bifocals depth perception and center of gravity is affected. We take this ability for granted until it's effected by a stroke or Alzheimers, medication or inner ear infection. The sensation is extremely frightening. Try validate to the patient that you understand their experience as best you can. Assure them that you will make sure they are safe. Trust is very difficult for a male to believe a
female can prevent them from falling during transfers bathing or assistance. Maybe a male assistant might help the situation.
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gee i could have sworn I wrote what you just did. I think (as even I notice for me) that as we get older we lose a little confidence in our "balance". I think become more aware of how we could get hurt IF we do fall, etc. And now lets add the ALZ to that, it makes for a scary world. Just let him know when you are with him that you won't let him fall and also their skin gets thinner and their sensitivity to pain is more intensified so even a slight bump could scare them. Good luck..............
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Yesterday I watched my mother as she walked out of the kitchen. The floor changed from linoleum to wood. She stopped and carefully put her foot over, like she wasn't sure where the floor was. She has walked through that door a million times. I felt so much compassion, knowing her eyes and mind have gotten so bad that she no longer trusts the floor is still there. I have to admire the courage it takes to make that step, instead of freezing at the threshold. Even though she had walked that way so many times before, it was like a new and frightening experience to her. Where was the floor? The changes in flooring, curbs, and other changes are hard for someone with poor vision and dementia.
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I think maybe it has to do with his vision, part of it anyway. Does he have cataracts? The world can be a scary place when you see shadows and things that aren't there. Also perspective and distance are hard to judge. I imagine his skin and joints hurt too.
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Call your local hospital to find the nearest clinic.
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Yes, medication.

Please know that there are Senior Behavioral Clinics that specialize in this treatment. They only need about ten days to work with the patient to "perfect" the medication. It change our lives dramatically for the better and, after insurance, cost only $1,000. Well, worth the money.
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Unfortunately I agree that this anxiety is a part of the disease and can only be lessened by medication. The medication may make him less secure when he is walking. Another dilemma of Alzheimer's disease! When our memory disappears, every step is a new experience and can be frightening. Ask him to do less, go fewer places. Make his life as comfortable for him as you can.
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You probably know already that you won't be able to reason with him about his fears. Try and reassure him the best you can and try to imagine his point of view. To him the floor my seem like falling over a steep cliff. I'm not one for more meds for elders but there may be some med available to calm him.
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