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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Educate yourself about Alzheimer's. The Alzheimer's Association is an excellent resource. Thankfully, the do not argue rule is now accepted nearly universally. The idea is that you must get into his world since he can't get into yours.
You will need a lot of support. Please keep coming back to agingcare. This community is packed with the wisdom of those in the trenches. Take care of yourself, Carol
Best thing you can do it do not challenge what he says. remember, it's dementia not Dad talking. If he doesn't remember something, do not say remember like a question. Instead make a statement. Always remember, it's the disease not the person talking. It's rough!
Be there for him And love him unconditionally no matter how hard it gets. . Educate yourself as much as possible. Knowlage is power. Just type in alzheimers then you will get a lot of info. . Good luck and hugs to y xxxx
I like all the resources mentioned here, and I also like Teepa Snow's videos...she has a great perspective on helping people with dementia, and there are free snippets on her website teepasnow. And I'd really encourage you to connect with other dementia caregivers, whether online or in person near you.
I'd also suggest you try to find a senior health clinic or geriatrics clinic. There are some ways to optimize the brain and body health of people with dementia, so they can feel their best. One thing we do in geriatrics is avoid medications that make thinking worse, and help people try non-drug ways to manage behavior problems. Exercise, social activities, purposeful activities, routine are great. Untreated pain or constipation can make people more difficult and should be addressed. Otherwise, excess medical care tends to be stressful and often creates more problems than it solves...so it's good to get in the habit of asking the doctors to walk your family throught the likely benefits and risks of anything they propose.
good luck, it's often a long journey for families. He's lucky to have you concerned and involved.
Don't overwhelm yourself with information but do start reading a little each day. I recommend that you sign up for the newsletter from this site so you can get daily information. I also recommend that you do an internet search for the Introductory Guide to Alzheimer's from Together In This. It's a nice,short, basic, action-orientated guide which includes a weekly educational element.
At the beginning of this journey in August, 2014 I attended a luncheon at a Assisted Living facility, where my sweet MIL had lived before she passed. The video we watched was Teepa Snow's. She compared the stages of Alzheimer's to gem stones..it's the first time this disease began to make sense to me, I could not grasp how this could possibly happen to my Father. One who had always questioned things, loved Science, and how everything in this world worked! I found it hard to control my emotions that day and I still have the beautiful chart we were given. Thanks drkernisan for reminding me of this woman's powerful message and how to love and continue to care for our loved one's going through this journey.
Get him out of the house, take him for rides, and keep him busy. My father would get nasty, yell, and call filthy names. You just have to realize you can't take it personally, and when they're having a bad time try to get them busy with something else. Remember him how he used to be, he's not responsible for how he is now, give him a ton of patience. Are there any projects or hobbies he's still capable of doing?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My dad has dementia as a result of failed surgery. The following Agingcare article tells part of my story and the learning process is you're interested: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/understand-what-a-person-with-alzheimers-is-feeling-121365.htm A Caregiver’s Story: Getting Into a Dementia Patient’s Head.
You will need a lot of support. Please keep coming back to agingcare. This community is packed with the wisdom of those in the trenches.
Take care of yourself,
Carol
I'd also suggest you try to find a senior health clinic or geriatrics clinic. There are some ways to optimize the brain and body health of people with dementia, so they can feel their best. One thing we do in geriatrics is avoid medications that make thinking worse, and help people try non-drug ways to manage behavior problems. Exercise, social activities, purposeful activities, routine are great. Untreated pain or constipation can make people more difficult and should be addressed. Otherwise, excess medical care tends to be stressful and often creates more problems than it solves...so it's good to get in the habit of asking the doctors to walk your family throught the likely benefits and risks of anything they propose.
good luck, it's often a long journey for families. He's lucky to have you concerned and involved.
http://tinyurl.com/a9czucc
Suggested reading Jennifer Ghent-Fuller's article, "Understanding the
Dementia Experience" tinyurl/pzof7an
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