My mom died this past June. While she had suffered from COPD for many years, my dad and I were both surprised when she decided to stop fighting it. She died within a few days in a hospice house. Now my dad is alone, living in an assisted living facility. Either me or my husband visits daily plus we bring him to our home to visit and just hang out. I've noticed that the last few days he hasn't gotten dressed. They bring him meals even though they stress how important it is to get up and out. He takes OxyContin every eight hours to control pain but he only wants to sleep. Just two weeks ago, taking the same meds, he was able to get up daily and wheeled himself all about the facility. Just now he told me he couldn't come over for dinner tonight. We even told him we'd like him to come live with us but he said no. He does take antidepressants but it seems as if he has given up now that my mom is gone. I would like advice on how to handle this and what to say to him. Thanks
My mom doesn't get dressed ANY days except when I come over to shower her or take her out. But she's mentally OK, i.e. not depressed. Sometimes I have to insist with her. She'll say, "Oh I don't feel good" or "I'm tired" and I'll just persist and get her up and out. She always feels better afterwards and says so. Without more information from you about your dad's age and general state, it's hard to say whether this is the beginning of the end for him or just a part of his very understandable grieving process.
Does he get to talk about your mom to anyone? Share how he feels about her loss? I would think that would be important, since men typically bottle that stuff up. It helps anyone to be able to share that with another human being. Does your dad have any friends who can visit him in AL?
You may cheer him up, get him to want to live or you may not. I think sometimes people recognize the lack of any quality of life.
I will tell you this from my own experience with my Mom. She has talked about