Dad & me are joint tenants with right of survivorship on deed. I supported & paid it all as caretaker of him and need advice.

I am confused here about lots of things. Are you an adopted daughter? Because if you are not blood and not adopted then you don't qualify as a daughter. But that doesn' have a lot to do with your being joint tenants. So I think were I you I would visit an elder law attorney with the details here; be certain going in that they have good idea of how medicaid works in your state. I don't understand medicaid doing a look back on YOUR funds when you are the one who has been paying everything. Do get some legal help; would be so afraid to advise without knowing the details.

Ditto to this being a job for an elder care attorney who is an expert on Medicaid in your state. It will be money well spent.

Tigger, one of the issues that I think is going to be critical turns on the issue of the relationship with your father.   As Alva asked, were you adopted?   I did some quick checking; this could be a tricky issue, and the one on which Medicaid relies.

If you weren't adopted, what's your actual, legal relationship with your father?  And very importantly, are there other siblings?   This could really complicate the issue.

What you may need to address the adoption and your rights is an attorney with adoption experience as opposed to elder law (for the Medicaid issue).   An adoption attorney should have experience not just in adopting of children, but with residual rights (which crosses into the estate planning practice area) and preferably with adoption litigation.  

The attorney needs to determine if NJ or a higher federal level court has adjudicated inheritance rights for adopted children.    I think this is the primary issue, before the caregiving and Medicaid factor in. 

Another issue MAY be whether or not your father has executed a will, and if you're the sole beneficiary.   I saw mention of this in some of the quick research I did, i.e., if you're adopted, but not named as a beneficiary in a will, there may be some questions on what you would inherit, other than an interest in the house.

I'm assuming the reference to your home means the one you shared with your father?   And you were making payments on this home, and it's the one you referred to?

You need the advice of a lawyer. Trying to get this advice now after the horse has left the cart is a bit late, but you will need the advice of an attorney, not of the forum I suspect.

Have you actually gotten a demand letter from the state? Or has the state seized the property? I'm guessing not & what actually is happening is that you have come to the realization that:
- Medicaid / MERP requires an attempt by the state to recoup all costs Medicaid paid for him from his assets, & that home - owned JTRO - is an asset of his. And
- his states Medicaid actually can place predeath lein on house. And
- due to Medicaid required copay of his income to NH, he no longer has any $ to go towards any property costs. The home if his homestead is an exempt asset for Medicaid but he will have no $ to pay on it. So all “house” now completely on you to pay taxes, insurance, utilities & you can’t afford it. Even tho’ it’s owned JTRO, he has zero ability to pay a penny on the place.

They are really different problems to deal with.
To me, MERP (Medicaids estate recovery program) is something to worry about down the road. It doesn’t come into play till after he dies as it’s abt assets of his estate. And then what to do imo varies by state laws on probate & property rights.

The more pressing is if you cannot on your own afford property costs.
If it was the situation that it was his income that was making living in the home manageable, then either he moves back home & you try to cobble together a in-home care plan OR if no matter how you do your math you cannot afford the home, then the property will need to be sold. If you do not pay property taxes, it will go onto delinquency list & up for tax sale eventually. It’s better to control the situation and you put it up for Sale & hopefully you have dPOA with full financial for him so you can sell his %. If you two actually are joint owners, then 50% of property is yours and 50% is his.

Now the costs Medicaid has paid for his care could be a lien placed on the property, which will have to be released (paid) in order for it to actually go thru an Act of Sale & get clear title. Not all states do this (TIFRA states) but I think PA is one. If that is the case, then Medicaid will need to get repaid costs to date at time of sale cause theres a lien lurking on title & it will surface. Personally I don’t think approaching this as a DIY is at all feasible. You’d need a law practice that does elder law and has an association with real estate attorneys. They will have to unthread property ownership & its costs so that you get your full 50% and so that the state can’t put in a lein over his 50%. And any $ left over that is his will take him over LTC Medicaid tight limits (usually 2k) for non exempt assets so he will become ineligible for Medicaid. Law firm can help him do a spend down so he becomes re-eligible quicker.
Your being “blood” or not, isn’t a factor.... it’s all about how the legal ownership is recorded on the property and how property costs might be equitably paid and having a way to legally enforce your % share of actual ownership. Not a DIY unless you really have experience with buying selling homes & knowledgeable on courthouse filings.

The required copay often comes as a Surprise to families.
The lien ability or claim placement of Medicaid is often beyond a total surprise to families. If they are living in the house, & can’t afford it, it’s a panic filled time bomb of a situation.
For heirs or families or co-owner's, keeping home or honoring elders wishes not to sell it, can be done. But you have to be able to totally afford all property costs for undetermined period of time AND then be able to deal with MERP exemptions and exclusions AND open probate if need be. And keep a pretty good sense of humor going....

I just checked your profile; I think there's a error, as it indicates your father is 67.  Your post states that you're 66.

Iggy and Rovana, when I saw the thread, I was positive I saw it before; Searched, couldn't find it.

I had misread the date of the OP's thread:  Dec. 11.     Somewhere I mistook the post for having been made "3 hours ago."

Since the OP's only post was the original one, on 12-11, I'm guessing she hasn't been back.   Time for us to move on.