He lives with an alc fem who I believe is emotionally abusive but he won't admit it. He sees the situation as his way to independence and wants to stay in his home. He recently admitted he is showing signs of early Alzheimer's. He has 3 daughters I took care of him b4 & after his transplant and had some serious issues with his house companion who becomes verbally ugly when she drinks. My presence adds stress to that scenario. He survives on 2 boosts a day and alcohol and physically he is deteriorating faster than his Alzheimer's is progressing. I need guidance on how to manage this but I'm afraid that seeking help will backfire and he will get angry and push me away.
It is possible that what he is experiencing is not Alzheimers but is alcohol induced dementia. The symptoms are the same, but it is a condition that is caused by drinking (it has been called wet brain in the past). Like Alzheimers and dementia there is no cure, only treatment of the symptoms.
A lot of alcoholics do not eat. This is because they are constantly sick from the alcohol and lose their appetite. The first symptom of this is an imbalance (deficiency) of potassium, which causes serious abdominal pain, dizziness, and other random symptoms that are often blamed on other things. This is life threatening.
I'm assuming he got the liver transplant after a lifetime of drinking? After a liver transplant, the recipient is usually on a lifetime cocktail of anti rejection medications and other medications. Nutrition should be strictly monitored. Alcohol is completely off limits after a liver transplant (although an alcoholic won't simply quit after a transplant, they must want to quit). Liver failure after a transplant is extremely risky. Its unlikely he would qualify for a second transplant if needed.
All of this is just random information though...since you can't do anything to change him.I fear that of you cannot convince him to enter a detox treatment facility as soon as possible that the only consolation would be to wait until something catastrophic happens like a fall, a potassium incident, or a drunk driving incident etc. and have the hospital place him. Most importantly, do not allow him to stop drinking on his own. Alcohol detox is deadly due to seizures. He must be medically monitored if he plans on quitting ESPECIALLY since he is a liver transplant recipient.
Most of all, don't blame yourself. You can't help someone who doesn't want help.
Angel
Angel #2
may be taking some of her anger towards you and sisters on him ...... and he probably feels some anxiety over the situation. I would just be supportive of him and his decisions, be there for him if and when he needs you and you will be doing your very best.
if your father is an alcoholic - I would bet that the abuse when they are drinking goes both ways - and no way to help either one of them if they continue to drink. Sounds like they are just enabling each other I would offer support should they want it and back away from them - as long as the drinking continues chaos will reign. If and when your father decides to quit drinking or his medical condition becomes such that he can't getting him out of the situation may be I would do what I could to remove him from - and I am confused here from your post - is it his home or is it hers - is she his caregiver?
In the meantime go to Al Anon which offers support for family members of alcoholics for some guidance.
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