i have distanced for a long while and it is so wonderful
I am still detached and it's good but
we went over for christmas and brought him food because he is my "father" the place reeked
I left before I puked
long time passed I didn't contact him except to call and see if he was still alive
he can't even figure out his phone
his tenant called me days later and said her place smelled of crap and I told her to talk to him, she said that house will be yours someday (ugh) and I should talk to him
I didn't
it's been peaceful that was months ago now he calls me I said what do you want, he only calls when he wants something and asks how to hire some way to fumigate (not the correct term I found that out) his house
he decided it was because his toilet didn't flush the whole way
biohazard people said to call a plumber because he was convinced his pipes were clogged
his cleaning person who is a saint found filthy towels under his bed and in the corners of his bedroom and he said he was washing his pants in the toilet because they were too dirty for the machine
and that should assuage the tenant
and then he asked how I was doing
NOT
stupid he is dead to me he makes me sick
I want my sister to be involved
otoh he may be just a bad person
I guess there's not much we can do but sympathize with you and hope for the best for you and for your dad, as stubborn as he is.
“…that house will be yours someday…” You do not have to accept an inheritance like that. Keep that in mind!
Ditto to what Sandra2424 said about reporting to appropriate authorities for the tenant’s sake, and have that phone number handy to give to the tenant to also report issues for herself, for her own sake.
I have also talked to social services and the police have gone over for wellness checks at least 4 times so far.
They all say as long as he's cognizant which doctors say he is, it's his right to live in filth
Police said it isn't bad enough for the health department to step in
Tenant has called social services and has spoken to him many times. She isn't afraid of him at all
I guess I could try the health department at this point but the police did say they had seen worse
Maybe I'll call anyway, maybe I won't I am so angry and disgusted
This sucks so bad and it's so easily fixed it's just pure stupidity and selfishness.
every time the phone rings I yell leave me alone 😔
He is also hateful and mean I just want it to go away.
Maybe I'll change my number at this point
I appreciate your replies and he and his tenant and my sister are blocked
feel a little alone I lost 2 friend because of this, one I was the closest to passed away
they didn't want to hear it anymore and I don't blame them
today I am done no calls and blocking both of their numbers
I can't even believe I am still putting up with this
thank you all
You will be spending some time fuming about it all, and wondering if you did the right thing. I think that is inevitable for any caring, involved person. Try to focus on something new, something bright and positive, instead. Is there a community center activity you might find interesting to join? Exercise classes. Hobby activities. A volunteer role at something that interests you. A church group. Anything you’ve put off while being involved in *all this*.
And don’t be a stranger here! People here know you, and will value your input based on your extensive experience.
You are doing what is best for you. You can't help someone who won't help themselves. If APS won't or can't do anything, there are records you contacted them and they found he needed no help. You have done ENOUGH!
Whatever the case is I am done. he begged me to help him with his bills (he is good at manipulating) I asked if he would let me set up auto payments he said no
this is SO old. I said forget it then
Thank you all so much this place is so helpful