Mother has Multiple Myeloma. She has been through so much in the past three months and I understand why she is depressed and has severe anxiety. We are working with a psychologist and her doctors to find the right medicines. It seems like when we get on track with one thing another comes up. Her mental health status scares me more than the MM. Mother has stated she does not see any relief in sight for the anxiety. I have to work and feel guilty about being away. Lately, I have been very anxious myself because we don't seem to be making any headway. I don't know how to help her. Does anyone have any suggestions?
I'm sorry to hear your mom is having such serious and complex troubles.I am a retired clinical social worker and have seen good results for anxiety with mind/body relaxation techniques (deep breathing is great) as an alternate or adjunct therapy. I found a free workshop on April 24 mid-day that you might be interested in--I think it is a webinar/call in. Maybe you could use your lunch hour to learn some skills or at least things to ask about in counseling. It is directed at a social worker audience, (caregivers ARE social workers, aren't they?) I'm sure you could get some good stuff from it. I would also look into cancer support groups through the American Cancer Society, LiveStrong and National Institute of Health (look at the NIH NCI site for many resources) if you haven't done so already. You can find the registration info for the workshop here: I also noticed they have an upcoming seminar on MM, too. It's good you are talking with your mom about how you each feel and that you can understand why she would feel as she does. Allowing her to talk about how she is feeling mentally is a great gift from you, although surely very difficult for you to hear.Talking will help her work out her feelings. Or, at times, she may prefer to share some of this with a care provider instead, so as not to worry her family. Sometimes people want to "compartmentalize" some of these issues so they don't have to talk about it much, other than during scheduled appointments.Try to feel out each day as you go along. It sounds like you are there for her in the most important ways, try not to feel too guilty for needing to work and for being away; your time at work gives her a predictable time to rest, which she must need. The definition of headway will vary with the complex difficulties you are facing with your mom. As with anything, some days will be better than others and probably with MM complications may be the norm? Accept your mom's feelings and keep showing her love and compassion. Do take care of yourself, so you can be there for her in the most effective way possible. She'll probably need to use your energy when you are not at work. Keep talking and venting to your support systems, as you have done here. Serious disease diagnosis demands a grieving process that takes time and will include many feelings and ups and downs. I'm sure this must be so hard. Keep doing your best, and let us know how things are going. Kim
Knowing you care & others may give you a peace of mine :)