My husband has Lewy body dementia and was diagnosed one year ago after 6 years of cognitive impairment. My husband is 71 and I am 68 and feeling overwhelmed and depressed. We should be traveling, playing bridge, going out with friends in our retirement. It just sucks.
This is the place where you can share exactly why you can't stand the sight of him, and we will all understand. I can't promise no one will flip out and accuse you of stuff, but if that happens, the rest of us will jump to your defense.
It's hard when you love a spouse or partner, but through no fault of theirs, their behavior becomes "unloveable." Tell us all about it. We get it.
I know how you feel, but to get some peace, you will need to accept that this is the way things have turned out. Some people have it easier, and some people have it harder. This is what happened to you. You didn't do anything to cause it. If you read the posts here, you will start to feel that your life isn't quite as horrible as it could be. I'm not saying don't complain. Come here and complain early and often. I am saying that life isn't fair, and there's no changing that. Accepting that can remove a little surplus suffering. There will be plenty of unavoidable suffering, so try to just go with it when you can.
I planned on being a healthy and active old lady, able to get around and enjoy things. I'll try to squeeze in as much as I can, even with this burden.