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And what is the importance of nutrition for your 76 yo aunt who has the terminal condition of dementia?
Will it improve her memory? Help her focus? Reduce her confusion? Cure or even improve her dementia? Enable her to live longer? Help her be happier?
This may sound facetious or sarcastic, but I am perfectly serious. I understood why I tried to teach my children the importance of good nutrition; I know why I try to apply the principles in my own eating (at least most of the time.) But it is really not so clear to me why it is important for a person with dementia.
I am not anti-nutrition but I am pro-pleasure.
Dry cereal (which is usually enriched or fortified, etc.) with milk (I'd make it whole milk) doesn't sound the absolute worst. Are you responsible for organizing her meals? Try offering a small dish of sliced banana or strawberries or blueberries, etc. next to the cereal. Tell her she can put it in her cereal if she'd like to. No pressure, no lectures, just make it available.
How about an afternoon snack of a milkshake? My husband's favorite was the Elvis special -- a little ice cream, a little milk, an envelope of Carnation Instant Breakfast, a scoop of peanut butter, half a banana, and chocolate syrup to taste. Or start with strawberry kefir and add fresh strawberries and maybe a little ice cream. Serve this in an old-fashioned ice cream fountain glass, on a small plate, perhaps with a doily under the glass. Aunt doesn't have a soda fountain milkshake glass? Buy her one! :) Again, no lectures, no conflicts, just an attractive item she can eat or not as she chooses.
Also consider this: tastes change. Aunt will want only cereal on Monday, and Tuesday, and every day until a week from Thursday. Then she will tell you she hates cereal, she has always hated it, and who ever hear of cereal for dinner, anyway. Sigh.
Aunt is not going to understand your explanations of the importance of nutrition, or if she does she isn't going to remember it or connect it to what she eats. She has dementia. Her brain is no longer working in that way.
Don't talk about it. Just make a few healthy items available to supplement what she insists on eating.
People with dementia zero in on routine foods. My mother prepares two meals a day for herself. They are usually the same thing, with no variation. I think it may be because she has the process down pat. As long as she does things consistently, she can remember how to do them. I make her main meal, so I try to make it as nutritious as possible. Sometimes she'll even eat the vegetables. :(
I couldn't tell where your aunt lives, but with dementia, I would be more concerned with her living alone than her eating cereal. If she's alone, she may start a fire, allow a stranger into the house, wander, etc. The risks of her being alone seem much more dangerous for her than her diet. In fact, I would be grateful that she was not using the stove to cook, since that could be quite dangerous.
If she is not living alone and you provide the food, then I would offer her other nutritious food, but not be too concerned about her diet. I'd discuss Vitamin D with her doctor since soft bones can be a problem with fractures and falls. Since dementia is terminal, I would just try to keep her happy and if the cereal does that, I wouldn't let that bother me.
Another thought - given her dementia, perhaps that's the only thing that she knows how to fix. As dementia advances, putting together meals becomes more challenging.
I've noticed that if my mother doesn't do something for a while, she forgets how to do it. If she does something every day, she remembers. I'm sure it has to do with her loss of ability to plan and organize. Cooking things is actually a complicated series of steps. I know that soon I'll have to take over cooking her breakfast, but it's good for her to do it as long as she can.
Funny -- I have to stay away from her when she's cooking. She'll make a mess if I don't. Too much distraction.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Will it improve her memory? Help her focus? Reduce her confusion? Cure or even improve her dementia? Enable her to live longer? Help her be happier?
This may sound facetious or sarcastic, but I am perfectly serious. I understood why I tried to teach my children the importance of good nutrition; I know why I try to apply the principles in my own eating (at least most of the time.) But it is really not so clear to me why it is important for a person with dementia.
I am not anti-nutrition but I am pro-pleasure.
Dry cereal (which is usually enriched or fortified, etc.) with milk (I'd make it whole milk) doesn't sound the absolute worst. Are you responsible for organizing her meals? Try offering a small dish of sliced banana or strawberries or blueberries, etc. next to the cereal. Tell her she can put it in her cereal if she'd like to. No pressure, no lectures, just make it available.
How about an afternoon snack of a milkshake? My husband's favorite was the Elvis special -- a little ice cream, a little milk, an envelope of Carnation Instant Breakfast, a scoop of peanut butter, half a banana, and chocolate syrup to taste. Or start with strawberry kefir and add fresh strawberries and maybe a little ice cream. Serve this in an old-fashioned ice cream fountain glass, on a small plate, perhaps with a doily under the glass. Aunt doesn't have a soda fountain milkshake glass? Buy her one! :) Again, no lectures, no conflicts, just an attractive item she can eat or not as she chooses.
Also consider this: tastes change. Aunt will want only cereal on Monday, and Tuesday, and every day until a week from Thursday. Then she will tell you she hates cereal, she has always hated it, and who ever hear of cereal for dinner, anyway. Sigh.
Aunt is not going to understand your explanations of the importance of nutrition, or if she does she isn't going to remember it or connect it to what she eats. She has dementia. Her brain is no longer working in that way.
Don't talk about it. Just make a few healthy items available to supplement what she insists on eating.
If she is not living alone and you provide the food, then I would offer her other nutritious food, but not be too concerned about her diet. I'd discuss Vitamin D with her doctor since soft bones can be a problem with fractures and falls. Since dementia is terminal, I would just try to keep her happy and if the cereal does that, I wouldn't let that bother me.
Perhaps it's time to get Meals on Wheels for her?
Funny -- I have to stay away from her when she's cooking. She'll make a mess if I don't. Too much distraction.
Or perhaps it's just easier to fix. Is she living alone? Is she comfortable cooking or microwaving frozen meals?
I'd be concerned as well about getting a well rounded diet - she's missing fresh produce and fruit as well as meat.