My Father has been in care home since October 2017. He is age 92 and has dementia. Have gone through a terrible few months with delusions and hallucinations. All of a sudden last 2 visits he's been much calmer. I am on a much needed holiday at present and now worry what I am going back to. At last 2 visits still getting tall tales but the accusations and aggression not there. Could this be the next stage. A calmer one I hope. Don't think I can take any more if it comes back. He constantly asks staff for bin bags to put belongings in as he's leaving. They just humour him. Any suggestions.
and read that demencia can be like a yo-yo. meaning good days and then bad days.
my mom went thru a period, over about 6 months. when it was just one thing after another. telling weird stories(paranoid), got pneumonia, fell and got staples in her arm. and it made me feel like she was really going downhill.
now it seems shes back to her "normal" (she has moderate or worse dementia)
when I read the "stages" you can find online, they never exactly fit my mom.
on one "late stage" it says, "Person is no longer able to take care of finances"
well, my mom hasn't been able to do that for the last 7 years. her memory wasn't that bad 7 years ago, but her memory has affected every part of her daily living in my opinion
gosh lately needing to edit all my replies
my mom has absolutely zero short term memory. I can say a sentence. and she cant recall what I told her a split second later. how long she'll keep at that level I don't know. she still dresses herself and bathes, but forgets to wash her hair. still feeds herself. and is very mobile.
Don't feel guilty. You're doing your best, and that has to be good enough.
No, you don't know what you are going back to. You'll find out soon enough, though. Enjoy your holiday. Worrying about what you can't control won't help anything and it is counterproductive to your holiday! When you return and see his current status you can decide then how you will deal with it.
The "stages" you can read about for ALZ apply just to Alzheimer's Dementia. About 40% of people with dementia have some other kind. That means the described stages will not apply to them. It is pretty hard to predict what will happen next for any individual. What will be will be.
Let's hope what comes next is easier to deal with!
ENJOY your holiday.
If it was me I would say no.
Very much up to individual and carers relationship etc though.
My Father still eats well and is reasonably mobile. The bad behaviour just got worse and worse at home. They try to make things as difficult as possible. Refuses all help. She's in best place xx
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