My mom is in her 5th year of dementia, has had a history of depression and anxiety. She wants to be home with her husband. His neglect has made her into a failure to thrive. Stays in bed, doesn't eat, drink and has given u0. She was treated for blood clots in both of her lungs from being in her bed over 18 hrs day. Wants to die and has lost weight. When she's with me and gets stronger she gets anxiety and is determined to go back home until I give in due to her behavior. Then she goes back and does the same thing. She was hospitalized for her lungs and now in a med psych unit and the want to do ect to help her depression. Not sure what to do.
You don't say how old your mom is or what other ailments she may have but from what I know of ECT, what I've seen of it in the course of my career (nurse), and what you've written if it were my mom I wouldn't do it. She has dementia. Nothing is going to help that and I think the ECT could make it worse.
I too would call hospice. Calling hospice isn't like pulling a trigger. It doesn't mean that your mom is ready to pass away this instant. But it's good to get them on board when there is failure to thrive. They can treat your mom's symptoms and see that she's comfortable.
My mom did what your mom is doing. She took to her bed, she was very depressed, she didn't eat or drink anything, and as a result her electrolytes got screwed up and she didn't survive. If someone thinks that depression isn't fatal then they're a fool. I wish I had called hospice but I had no clue that she could die, that she was in the process of dying. I warned her about blood clots but it got to the point where I couldn't get her on the phone anymore. I'm a nurse and I couldn't see it objectively! She went downhill very quickly.
Anyway.....make her comfortable. That's what I wish I had done for my mom.
Your post here is asking about the treatments. So here's my two cents. In advance, I'm rather opinionated and not afraid to share. ;)
I looked it up that few days ago when I read the question. I would never do that to my own mom. If she is failing to thrive? That's her body's way of trying to leave this earth, in my opinion. And nobody will let her.
Leave her alone. I think it is probably time for hospice.
My mother has chronic anxiety and went into depression after my father's death. The depression was not as deep as your mother's, though. My mother's doctor started her on Celexa. I'm not sure if it has helped my mother, but something like this may help yours. I don't know if I would allow ect unless something could assure me that there would be a certain outcome, based on their results from others who had dementia. If it would prolong her life or improve the quality, I would say yes. What I would be reluctant to do is let them do ect because it works on younger people without dementia. Someone would have to talk facts with me.
My main consideration would be if the depression and restless wanting to be elsewhere was all part of the mid-stage dementia. It is a time when things and places are not setting right in the mind of the person, and they are looking for reasons they don't feel right.
Is your mother under the care of a geriatric doctor or team? I have a feeling there is a better solution for your mother than ect. Maybe it would be good to get her stabilized in a place where her anxiety and depression are both the lowest they can be.