Hello all,
I live with my mom due to a bad divorce and because she needed help ( this began five years ago -mom has gotten worse ) She is so mean to me and tells people lies about me. She is ruining my reputation. She has told the co signer on this condo I don’t pay, I do and have checks. I feel like all I am doing Is proving myself. She looses things and blames me, then I find them for her. I don’t know how to except the meanness anymore I’m growing more angry and I don’t want to do this anymore. I am only child and she just spend last of any money she had. So it’s just SS now and we live in Southern Ca. So cost of living is ridiculous. I’m afraid she is going to call police or make up a lie. I can’t tell her doctor cause she would kill me and he would cut off all her “meds” that are hard to obtain shall we say. She told me I could have car she doesn’t drive anymore. Well it’s game time now ( I let my tags expire on my Honda ) I got great job and she is like ya you can’t have car till I’m cold and dead. I am so foolish to believe her and my emotions are all over the map now. Thanks for letting me vent. Thick skin is hard guys especially when it comes to a place to live or a job or my reputation.
Thanks Again.
I am sorry that you won't consider moving out, but you wrote in another post: "I am in California rent is so high and I am stuck with her. "
I was venting but was able to make two small changes this weekend. Family friend she adores stepped in so we are going to get a walker now and hand over the car keys. We also added myself on the lease as primary. So I did make some changes but it will be a long haul for sure.
Is this deal still the best type of support for both of you - going forward?
Mean mothers who start lying.
Some of it might be dementia. Most of it is probably her mean personality. And if you were a SON, there’s no way she would treat you that way.
My advice?
If you’re in any way dependent on her (financially, or some other way), be careful. She can use it against you.
Find a way to free yourself = be independent (financially, etc., other ways).
Mean people will become nice…then mean…then nice…
She’ll keep doing that.
Be careful.
"I finally broke down and cried and I try my best not to".
It's OK to have a cry! Let yourself feel whatever you feel.. let the frustration out.
Stable in your boat - but no wind, not sailing anywhere. It's a risk to start rocking the boat! But, worth it to start rowing towards something.. something new. Once you decide what that is, you can keep your eyes open for opportinies to pick up speed.
⛵🛶🚤
Thanks again and take care !