Mom had a brain bleed and had to go in for emergency surgery. They put a drain in and she was hospitalized for a week then went to rehab. (This will be the 2nd time in rehab in 8 months-she first went in after a hip fracture surgery) In rehab I've seen her confusion, Sundowner agitation, spinning elaborate tales that make no sense that she's convinced happened to her. When I mention dementia, Drs always say it"s "hospital delusions" and it should "clear up" as soon as she returns to her AL home. However, the Med Director at her facility says it's dementia. Mom is a former RN, so is great at talking "medical" during those lucid moments-her masking is amazing- and constantly argues about her care with everyone and refuses to see a neurologist. Even her neurosurgeon says there's no need to see one (and mom clapped with elation and gloated about it *sigh*). Should I just assume she's got dementia and live towards dealing with this? Who can actually give that dementia diagnosis? Any help is appreciated.
I would press the doctor for the actual medical cause for "hospital delusions"... like is it mental or physical? Why does it magically "clear up" once she's out of the hospital?
That's a roundabout way to tell you not to listen to the neurosurgeon, because dementia is not his specialty, nor to the doctor in the hospital. She needs to be examined by a neurologist.
My mother suffered from delirium in the hospital, but that's also because she had dementia. The hospital was an unfamiliar and scary place, people were poking her with needles, and she didn't know where she was, so of course she freaked out. Once I got there and was a familiar face she calmed down somewhat, but getting her back to her memory care and the established routines there was crucial to bringing her back to her usual state.
For your mom, throw anesthesia into the mix, and yeah, she's going to have all sorts of things scaring her.
Get her to a neurologist because "the doctor requires it" or whatever excuse you need to use.