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I am 86 and I have noticed that some (thankfully not al) younger people just do not pay attention to anything their elders say. At first, I just kept on repeating because it was obvious they were not at all understanding much of what I was saying. I finally just gave up on them. I just seek the company of those who do like to converse with me and who understand what I say because they are truly listening. I enjoy listening to them and their conversation is in fact very precious. Your advice is very good except that it seems perhaps you too are wrongly assuming that the conversation of most elderly is child like. That is just not true. Really, it is quite the contrary.

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Hear hear!

I think it's possible you are sometimes taking the youngsters by surprise. The younger people are, the less inclined they are to believe that anyone older has anything relevant to say to them - but it's purely because they don't yet know better. Persevere!
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i have to agree...cellphones have ruined the art of conversation. With that said I remember back when I was with my grandmother as a teen in the 1970s-1980s. Her topics of conversation were all about her. Every ache, every pain, and nothing nice to say about anyone. She didn't talk "with' you she talked 'at' you. So did I like having a conversation with my grandmother...no.

My parents had me late in life. They had older friends who had one set of parents living with them. I loved visiting with these elders as they actually took an interest in me. The father would play chess with me. I truly enjoyed spending time with them. My grandmother, not so much.
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Bobbie, the younger generation no longer know how to converse face to face. I blame this on years of texting.

I finally got to see my sig others 2 teenaged grand-daughter after many years away [living out of State, plus I was caring for my parents so I couldn't travel]. Good grief, I think I had only 10 minutes face time with them, and their 40 year old Mom, the 3 days they were here [they stayed in a hotel which was soooo much easier on everybody].

Their heads were bent down the vast majority of the time into their cellphones. Even sightseeing in our Nation's Capital, out were the cellphones. It's like why bother.... [sigh].
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I agree with Ikdrymom - on both points. Yes, cell phones have negatively impacted the art of holding a conversation. As well, both parties should be mindful of each other’s age as it relates to a topic.

A brief (hopefully) story as an example:

Our last big family Thanksgiving. This was a year prior to my parents dual health crash and years before my mother showed any signs of dementia.

My oldest brother and his wife held the celebration at their home. Over dinner my two adult nephews began a lively discussion on the latest Star Wars movie. All the younger folks, as well as my brother, were participating and enjoying the conversation. My mother loudly says “It’s not polite to hold a conversation that not everyone can participate in”. That shut everyone up. After a brief, awkward silence my mother began to talk about her favorite topic - herself and her latest ailments. I guess she felt everyone could join in on this subject. Although, no one did.

Next example.

My sons primary paid companion is the daughter of my closest friend. Her mother and I met through an autism support group and I’ve known this young lady for about 20 years.

This young lady and I can talk for hours about movies, music, celebrities, fashion, makeup etc. Her mother is not into that stuff and says she is glad her daughter has an older lady to talk to about these thing - getting an older lady’s perspective on when and where to wear short skirts, a full face of makeup, etc. And, I would never dream of discussing my frustrations with menopause, chin hair and my hearing loss with this young lady - least she completely glaze over as did all the folks at that fateful Thanksgiving dinner when my mother began to speak.

Conversations should always be an interaction between interested parties. Don’t get me wrong - overall I find most Millennials lacking in this “art”. Don’t even get me started on the fact that spelling and the use of a period in punctuation sadly seems to be lost as well... my nephews doctor wife sent me a hand written thank you note for a lingerie shower gift telling me she was going to “ware” it on her honeymoon... (sigh)

But hey - at least she actually sent the note, right? All is not lost. Yet.
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lkdrymom Apr 2020
Your Thanksgiving story is the perfect example. My father has refused hearing aids so he can’t follow conversations. I don’t feel sorry for him as he brought this on himself. What aggravates me is when there is a lively discussion going on at a family gathering that I am enjoying and he starts up a conversation with me over something completely out of the blue...usually something to do with his time in the navy.
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I see my dad going through what you describe. He has valuable conversation to contribute, yet people often run over him talking and seem to disregard his contributions. I’ve long admired Asian cultures where the elderly are better respected. I fully know that there are plenty of people of all ages, including our seniors, who don’t want to listen or understand, but I hope we can all listen and learn from those who want to contribute. Thanks for sharing
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Well I agree with all the responses and want to add that.....a lot of ya younger people don’t want to hear about our parents and grandparents ailments. I think most don’t even realize it but that’s all they talk about! All their aches and pains and digestive issues.....my mom isn’t that bad yet but there are times our conversation is all about her ailments. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just.....not something you can easily discuss unless you are in the same situation.
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Countrymouse Apr 2020
It's what my BIL (73) calls "the organ recital", Worried. There can only be so much you want to hear of it.
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Conversations with my 77 yo mother can be excruciating. She repeats stories all the time. Things I know cuz I was there and/or have heard hundreds of times over the decades. Soooooo boring. I can't say certain words because she WILL tell the story that one word triggers.

Then my 93 yo MIL just barrels over me to talk to my husband. So much fun.

I would suggest not repeating things because you think people are not paying enough attention, etc.

My mid 20s daughters and their hubbies are excellent conversationalists.
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Savage4147 Apr 2020
Sounds like dementia
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I think it is a habit not disrespect. When I tell my dad something he has dementia and he generally repeats it back to me or say Huh.
I think for him it is to buy him time to try and process what was said
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