I am tired and beyond frustrated with my parents, sisters, and brothers. Parents have had problem after problem since thanksgiving last year. At first septic system failed, bypassed that problem. Then the stove went out. Hubby fixed that problem. Then the icebox went out. We were going to purchase new but the only person willing to shell out money was dad and mom and sister refused to help. So we went used instead.
Now, the sound I kept telling everyone sounded like a leak in the wall has turned into a major plumbing issue. The leak is so far underneath the concrete slab, the plumber suggested new installation at about $1400.
So after discovering rural development denied them for a guaranteed loan due income being $3000 over the limit. We discussed checking with the bank. I drive down. Soon as I asked mom to get ready she had a fit talking about having to sign her name to a bank loan and how she has never had to do such a thing. We left to meet dad and sister in town.
As soon as we meet up in town sister starts talking about I told you all you did not have to go through all this trying to get a loan stuff. We can go another month and re-do my loan which dad has to cosign. Then she goes on to say that brother who is not a plumber says he can fix everything as long as parts are purchased.
Then they go on to talk about their homeowner policy. I tell them insurance will do nothing especially if you do not use a licensed plumber. Hubby and I are so upset at everyone. Sister and mom for not being willing to contribute financially. Dad for constantly borrowing and then shelling it out to adult children.
Mom had the nerve to ask me why we are not coming as often. Hello? I cannot wash your hair, give you a bath, or fix you a hot meal because the pluming problem tanked the gas in the home. And if anyone gets a bad stomach lol, who wants to pour water out of a bucket to flush.
To top it off, we have been off and on traveling a long distance because dad has a medical problem and set to have prostate surgery if he can handle being put to sleep.
I want to rebel and find rest of money needed. Whether it is through bank loan, credit card, etc.
The only ones to blame in this situation are your parents, as it has their choice to continue to live in a house that keeps falling down around them. Forget about loans, what would be the collateral? The house? What will need repair next? Time to sell the house "as is" and for your parents to move into something that doesn't require a lot of work.
turned to gold plated. It's a shame, her house was paid for but because of the shape it was in we couldn't get what it was worth. I wish you luck with the repairs.
But since they passed, grandson dad had had move in with him to take care of him found a leak in the wall that required tearing it out and the subfloor and replacing, remodeling the bathroom then painted the bedroom, then the gas water heater developed a leak that had to be fixed that then required replacing subfloor in that closet, hallway and other bedroom but grandson had friend who is a plumber who did at least the plumbing, then had another friend who pretty much did the rest of the work, with girlfriend having gotten her money she'd been waiting on from settlement from her work to pitch for some of the materials, new vanity used off Craiglist and grandson working again doing construction for former boss remodeling hotel so had the money. We ran into rural development loan doesn't want to loan less than $50K and grandson not enough income for that and girlfriend not around anymore but could a loan for the amount of the hardwood that was purchased.
Homeowners has been cancelled due to an inspection never told about but had been grandfathered in so repairs had never had to have been made. So no loan on house till can get insurance. So now no one wants to make repairs because of no insurance.
answry, how old is your dad? mine had to have another - didn't know you could have to have more than one - prostate surgery in his mid-80s.
no more credit cards and because of all had/have no bank loan without HELOC.
in many ways, wish dad had just gone ahead and sold the house back when he talked about it and moving into assisted living before it started having all these problems and especially after just replacing the heating system part after it went out. His was paid for as well, but now because of the shape it's in we can't get what it should be worth either, at least partially because of the floors especially after subfloors being replaced but only that, no flooring down and wanting to return the hardwood bought since she not there with her income anymore.
Too bad, in some ways, not in town where it could be condemned.
Already had septic issues as well concerned about, managed to skate through the last time with just a clean out but for how long. Sure be an issue then! Could sell as is but nobody's done that yet - well, except for one sold at courthouse auction but not because of condition - no house in that neighborhood/subdivision has been allowed to get - or at least stay - in that bad condition, hate to be the first; however, other houses comparable on other side of street, seems to have something to do with the septic issue. But not sure who's taken care of the one that's for sale now.
My parents sold their other house to buy this one, with the stipulation there wouldn't have to be any extra money, so they got what they paid for, which wasn't nearly as good a quality as what they had. Bank wanted insurance before appraisal. Insurance may not care but bank will, I think, about the unfinished room.
Parent’s home is 43-years old. Everyone says I was the baby when it was built or purchased. However, it has seen 10 kids, mom being caregivers to both her parents, and tons of grandkids. Mom and sister have been homebodies. Dad always took care of everything financially. The expectation from others is still the same till this day. They expect him on a fixed income of less than $600 to get things done all on his own and will use guilt to get what they want.
The only way those people will leave that home is through death.
Pamstegma
I don’t know about this route. Someone would probably have to be tipped off. I’ve considered this but only in the way of making them get things done.
Staceyb
The septic system would have required so much to replace. This sucker failed. I’m talking about caved in. Contractors suggested that the cost would be extreme and to run long plumbing pipes since they live in the country.
Health problems for both.
Deb daughter
Sometimes I don’t think they think about us. Siblings and mom feel that we are a little better off and so should be more sympathetic towards others who have less. Dad gives them what for and then bails them out anyway. I didn’t know that as well but here we are again three years later. The first one was called transurethral microwave therapy. He is having one this time called Transurethral resection only if he can handle anesthesia.
I can get parents on same page with me but 45-minutes later (my drive time) and all plans will have changed. I’m ok with forgetting loans. But if you can keep co-signing loans for others or getting a loan altogether for someone else, why can’t you get one for your own self (not what I want to say here)? Why do you have to wait and let sister pay her loan off and then co-sign with her? She already handle bill paying wrong. Every month I stare at an unpaid $59 dollar phone bill (lingering since November) because sister will not pay her portion. So, late fee gets added each month. It makes me mad. I don’t even know what to do about that? I guess next month, if it does not get paid this month, I will let it get disconnected rather than pay mom’s portion.
Another example, sister ordered a nebulizer machine for mom and some other medication. Then told both parents I ordered up all that stuff. I called doctor in front of them and they heard doctor give the name of person who made the claim and all they would say was don’t say anything to sister. Don’t start a fight.
Both parents will be 82 years old 1'st part of year if God's will.
Yes, both receive less than $600 a month. Dad on his own has been able to get small loans as previously mentioned because he is well-known and liked in our small town so people normally go out of their way to help.
tinatincan
My siblings are all vultures.
Debdaughter
Unfortunately, I don’t know what will become of my siblings and mom if anything happens to dad. Mom has income and so does sister. They were over the rural development limit by $3000 (using 3 incomes). Correct, mom does not want to be on a loan because dad has always took care of things financially. Well hello family he is no longer in the logging business. Can’t afford what he once was able to afford.
This was for a personal loan. The rural development one also would not require a deed. I pay all household bills out of their money. However, sister’s son has been in jail for some time. She received calls from him while he was locked up. So her portion of the bill is clear cut. But she will not pay. I pay mom’s portion as usual but I don’t think I will next month. Tired of looking at a past due November bill.
The nebulizer was ordered through doc. Sister went in with Dad one day and told same doc mom was out of meds. I told doc over phone that I have been bringing mom in and she has not used any stuff like this in over three years if not more. I asked were there any changes? She said no your sister said she needed meds.
He had the micro procedure about three years ago.
Last year he got diagnosed with severe emphysema 1/3 lung capacity. All I know is that lung doctor and general docs don’t want him sick. No infections, no phenomena, no colds, etc. I take this as not good. Lol, but you can’t tell him that as he stays on the go and has a good spirit.
but I can almost guarantee your mom and sis will find a way if anything happens to your dad; that kind almost always does. I'm somewhat surprised he apparently could do what he did while he was in the logging business; have a friend whose husband is a logger and had it not been for a cousin of his he wouldn't have made it this far; he's the one who got them their house that they have that's got plenty of its own issues; had to have a well put in to even have water; the guy before was either providing it to his son or the other way around but he was the one who had it all worked out and then he passed away and when the son got it he just let it go so when that happened the county cut the water off to it, so might be what would happen to them, which, now that would be a mess, wouldn't it, but then, is that what you're saying the issue is now with this leak? but at least they do still have water hooked up to the house? but I still don't understand them being over the limit; like I said I was told they didn't want to loan under $50K (I think I said, anyway)
so are you not wanting to pay mom's bill because of sister's?
so why do you think your sister told the doc your mom needed a nebulizer? does she use it or was it for your dad? with his emphysema/lung capacity, to help keep him from getting pneumonia? you're right, doesn't sound good.
my uncle had what I think may have been the same procedure as your dad had and it seems as if it doesn't work nearly so well as the surgery my dad had but I don't think he ended up having to have it done, though, but wonder if some other things he wound up having problems with were related to all that; I do hate that and I can see the anesthesia concern with his lung problems, so is he supposed to find out?
my dad was like that, too; the docs said he was the healthiest - according to him - sick man they'd ever seen, actually kept them fooled for a long time, almost surprised your dad's, if he's like that, know he's as bad as he is
The septic tank collapsed? It needs to be replaced and that's expensive. Even in the most rural of places, sewage leaching into the ground is a health hazard. The earlier you address this with the county where your parents live the better. Maybe they can do the work and get them on a payment plan to repay the county for the work. And if neighbors start smelling it, your parents will be fined and/or forced to pump the sewage often and that's not cheap either. I would not delay...it's only going to get worse.
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