Does anyone wish they could know for sure if mom or dad is okay in the facility they are in and are getting the proper care? Do you trust the facility they are in? Do you wish you could help the facility understand how to give better care to your mom or dad? I know I do. What are your thoughts? Would it be worth it to hire someone to check up on them and make sure they are getting good care? If so, how much do you think it would cost to check in say once a week?
What kind of facility are they in, AL or MC? With the easing of COVID restrictions, are you able to visit now? You say you wish you could help the staff understand how to give better care for your parents. If the staff is properly trained, they should know how to give personalized care. Don't over expect. Remember, facilities can't provide the one on one care that you previously could.
No, I wouldn't hire someone to check on their care. If you're not allowed in the building yet, while would the facility allow someone else in? Once you're allowed to visit, watch how the staff interacts with residents, that can show you a lot.
I did trust the place my bro was, but he was so "with it" with his diagnosis of probable early Lewy's that he could tell me all about what went on, and tell me all about each worker.
I also trusted it because of the intake of him, with me at his side as his Trustee and his POA. They gave such a complete handbook. About what the prices were on entry, when raises could be expected (anniversary) and what they might be (3% to 5%) and about what the levels of care. Who needed which level and on what basis. What could get you with a request to leave, what special meals, etc they needed, making a plan of care with special needs (for instance my bro wanted no night checks and knocks always before entry.
So I would say you kind of get this sixth sense. A gut feeling. If you are not by nature a "suspicous person" then I would trust the gut, the hairs raising on the back of your neck. Discuss issues that concern you with Administration.
I wish you good luck.
If you feel they could do better, talk with the nurse director and the administrator. Be involved in the facility's family counsel resource.
From experience I know that a once-a-week check is NOT enough. You need to see who's taking care of your LO throughout the week, become familiar with the staff and, more importantly, let them know you. I actually had a CNA tell me that my LO would get more attention from the staff once they learned she had many spiritual family members who would be checking on her. For all that, some were still careless with her...
If you're not physically near, you could hire a geriatric care manager. See the article on this site Geriatric Care Managers Can Help Busy Caregivers for more information.
It's not easy to trust a stranger to care for parents. Do your research, keep your eyes open, and heed your inner voice.
So, how can a PI help you? If you feel that you must use a ‘spy’ to check in on your loved one, why not hire a sitter who can do something useful and worthwhile for your family member. Ask her opinion of the facility afterwards.