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I take care of my 79 (80 in July) mother in law and last week she told my husband you don't know how she is when your not here insinuating that I am mean to her (I am not).
I clean for her, cook for her whatever she wants on the days I'm here. I'm here at least 3 days a week.

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Yes. My aunt accuses everyone of terrible things. Calls her aids the n-word. This is part of the dementia as she was NEVER this way pre-dementia. Makes me sad but ignore it and change the subject and remind yourself it's the dementia talking, not her.
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That stinks. It's hard enough to take care of someone and then to have them be ungrateful and insulting is just a drag.

But, I guess you have to try to put that aside, assuming this is caused by dementia and do your best to ignore this and not take it personally.
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