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I wouldn't unless they have excellent relationships with each other. Why would you want to do that? So nobody's feelings are hurt? I have three children and have to make this decision as well. I think I have decided then I change my mind. But it is not going to be the oldest or my son just because. I will choose the one with the most patience and is compassionate, with ethics and able to handle life's most important decisions.
Jojo, do take good advice and read all the information you can find before you make these decisions.
Durable powers of attorney can be drawn up for both medical and financial decisions. As you want your children to have this authority in case you become incapacitated, it will be called a "springing" DPOA - it comes into effect automatically should that happen.
The Medical and the Financial instruments are separate documents, and the medical one especially may be called something else - you may find that in your area you need to appoint a Health Care Proxy, for example. If you go to your local Area Agency on Aging, or your local library, or social services, they should be able to point you to the best, clearest leaflets explaining what you need to do and what topics you want to think about first.
You can appoint your three children to act jointly. It isn't necessarily the best idea, because it can make life very complicated. For example, suppose one of them spots a problem and wants to deal with it quickly, but one sibling is away on vacation and the other is under a lot of pressure at work - the delay could be a problem, and this sort of thing can easily lead to irritation and conflict.
You may be able to authorise them to act "jointly and severally." This means that they are all able to act for you individually, but that they all must be kept informed of any decisions or actions taken on your behalf. So any one of them can, for example, pay a bill; but he or she must tell the other two what has been done.
I hope this helps, broadly; but do do your research. And well done to you for taking this sensible step! - may it never need be put to use :)
POA for health and finances are separate documents. Joint POA can be a real headach, especially with 3 because they would all have to sign every document. "Jointly and severally" allows them to work singly and as a unit, but you need to be realistic about your children's ability to work together and agree on all decisions. Another option favoured by many on the forum is naming one primary agent and having the others listed as second or third who have no say unless for some reason the primary can not perform their duties. I know a lot of people don't want to seem to play favourites when naming their POAs, but this is a time to be realistic and choose the ones who are most suited to the task.
Echoing others upthread, but I totally agree with gladimhere and cwillie. I would recommend not having joint POAs. Even if your children get along well together, that doesn't mean they will continue getting along when acting for you.
I'm Mom's POA for everything. It's hard and time-consuming--and that was even before I'm now her live-in caregiver. I can't imagine having to do POA work AND having the burden of getting my siblings' permission to do so. Frankly, you're asking a lot by making three siblings joint POA and setting them up for confusion and anger. Decision-by-committee rarely works.
If you're skeptical of sibling issues, please read the threads in this forum about problems one sibling experiences when they're the live-in caregiver. Frankly, siblings often change--and not for the best--when it comes to their parents.
Jointly and severally can work, that is how my mom's POA is set up and there have never been any problems other than having to produce a death certificate for my brother when I sold her property. What I wrote was intended to inform that you need to be very aware of the possible pitfalls, not that it should never be an option.
First POAs should be assigned to the child who is the closest living near you. You can have a second person set up who steps in only when the first person can't. I plan on having my youngest for financial and oldest second. For medical oldest since she is an RN and youngest as backup. Why, youngest is better with money, oldest of course good from medical standpoint.
Right now I have my single childless RN daughter as health care proxy and both her and my son as durable POAs. However, having watched them bicker over their father's (my ex) expenses, etc., I believe they won't agree about much, so I will make my financial manager or my attorney the POA. Almost everything has a beneficiary so there won't be much to negotiate about if I die. It's when I am still alive but incapacitated that I need to worry.
Legally? Yes. But should you put all 3 children together as POA? I wouldn't as 3 almost never agree on everything. Your life could be at stake - pick the one you think will see things through.
If the three children get along so well, I wonder if it would make sense to have a meeting to decide which should do what. Maybe among themselves they would recognize one as being more suitable for financial and another for medical.
Durable power of attorney and power of attorney are different. You can only have one person listed as Durable power of attorney and that person can make all decisions.
I don't think it is a good idea. Everyone else has already stated the reasons. In my case, if I can't get better, I want them to "pull the plug". My oldest daughter said she couldn't do it and she would put in a feeding tube. So, my youngest daughter is the designated POA for health. She says she will follow my wishes as stated in my trust, will, etc. Have you decided what end of life care you want? Have you discussed this with your kids?
You will have to create and have signed by the elder with photo ID 2 separate documents to be notarized-one for medical (called a DPOA) and one for financial.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Durable powers of attorney can be drawn up for both medical and financial decisions. As you want your children to have this authority in case you become incapacitated, it will be called a "springing" DPOA - it comes into effect automatically should that happen.
The Medical and the Financial instruments are separate documents, and the medical one especially may be called something else - you may find that in your area you need to appoint a Health Care Proxy, for example. If you go to your local Area Agency on Aging, or your local library, or social services, they should be able to point you to the best, clearest leaflets explaining what you need to do and what topics you want to think about first.
You can appoint your three children to act jointly. It isn't necessarily the best idea, because it can make life very complicated. For example, suppose one of them spots a problem and wants to deal with it quickly, but one sibling is away on vacation and the other is under a lot of pressure at work - the delay could be a problem, and this sort of thing can easily lead to irritation and conflict.
You may be able to authorise them to act "jointly and severally." This means that they are all able to act for you individually, but that they all must be kept informed of any decisions or actions taken on your behalf. So any one of them can, for example, pay a bill; but he or she must tell the other two what has been done.
I hope this helps, broadly; but do do your research. And well done to you for taking this sensible step! - may it never need be put to use :)
www.agingcare.com/articles/what-is-durable-power-of-attorney-140233.htm
I'm Mom's POA for everything. It's hard and time-consuming--and that was even before I'm now her live-in caregiver. I can't imagine having to do POA work AND having the burden of getting my siblings' permission to do so. Frankly, you're asking a lot by making three siblings joint POA and setting them up for confusion and anger. Decision-by-committee rarely works.
If you're skeptical of sibling issues, please read the threads in this forum about problems one sibling experiences when they're the live-in caregiver. Frankly, siblings often change--and not for the best--when it comes to their parents.
It's when I am still alive but incapacitated that I need to worry.