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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My 80 year old father still functions. He drives, works, and participates in activities such as golfing. But he cannot be reasoned with, and tends to make up stories that are not true. Could this be an early sign of Alzheimer's?
I find that some folks with decline git I've functioning tend to make up stories that make their perceptions make sense. Or they combine stories of two different events into one. If your father has dementia, you need to a knowledge that his brain is broken. Get him to a neurologist for a workup.
It's not that he's lying, it's just that he gets things jumbled up..He knows his memory is failing and will fight it till the end..
I agree that you should get him to a neurologist, but if that won't happened find out who is Dr is and give the office a call and let them know your concerns...
Also if he doesn't have an updated will, POA, medical proxy it's time to see an Elder Law Attorney ASAP..
He sounds just like my dad. Dad is 85, still driving and functioning, but has very little short term memory. He gets an idea in his head and no amount of explaining or reasoning with him will change his mind. Everthing was "just the other day". We can't get the carpet cleaned or the 40 year old sofa replaced. He was at the cemetery recently visiting the graves of my brother and sister and they had just buried someone nearby. He became convinced that they had used one of the plots reserved for he and my mom. My mom has been unable to get him off this idea. After a couple days now, he's starting to forget about it, but if anyone brought up the subject he would be right back to the same place.
Thank-You all for your feedback. My only wish is that I can have a father/daughter relationship before my dad passes away. My only sibling, a brother that is 18 months older, tells me that he is all my dad has left. Not true! He has the whole family on his side, because they "USE HIM" for money and free rent and Only God Knows what else. Lawyer filed my mothers documents and hoping to get a hearing soon for reading of her Will.
Doodle bug....I would like to tell you this with the utmost respect. Please do not tear yourself in knots looking for an epiphany in your father/daughter relationship. With dementia it will not get better. As the decline progresses they internalize and become extremely self centered. Sounds like you are grieving your mother and she was probably the referee that kept the sanity. Sounds like my family. Create firm boundaries, stand up for yourself and do what you can to make sure he is kept safe.
An update to all who have helped me on this site. It's NOT getting better. My dad is so paranoid, that he has changed all the locks on the house. I lived with my parents in 2005, then moved into the OLD 1800's house. Always had access to everything. I can't even get into the garage where my fireproof safe is. My mom wanted to protect my dad from cutting me out of her will, so she left me her half of estate. He and my only sibling (brother) are taking me to court to try and have her Last Will thrown out. This is very difficult situation. I love my family, but they DONT care for me at all right now, because I won't back down. If it takes years to complete, I will stand STRONG. I have accepted that I will lose my family over this, but that means I didn't have them to begin with. How can they NOT HONOR my mothers last wishes. Her last wish from my dad, 5 days before she passed; was to get along with me. That lasted one day. He took her diamond ring off of her in the hospital. She was very upset about him not giving it back. It's been 4 months and when I ask where the family heirloom is? He says "What ring". Ugh. I just hope he has not given it to another woman. I recognize the dementia, but he show times a lot. He now has cancer and his neck needs more surgery. He is in great shape for 80 years old. Drives, plays golf, etc.... I find at this point, just don't talk to my family at all. Every time we speak; it puts me into a crying rage. I know dad misses his wife of 59 years. I miss mom too. My father is very co-dependent and he will have or has a girlfriend already. I feel it; my mom felt it; and this was her way of protecting my brother and myself. Of course brother does not view the situation like that, because he and his spouse work for my parents company and make big bucks. If the old Will done in 2010 is thrown out, and the Last Will is accepted, it takes my dad "out of CONTROL". In the meantime, he is pilfering and spending all he can. Knowing that I struggle financially, they are trying to bribe me with $$$$. I will pick up cans on the side of the road to eat, before I give them CONTROL. Guess God is teaching me more patience, which builds character. I should be QUITE a CHARACTER before all is said and done. Please pray that he doesn't pay the judge for things to go the wrong way. In small towns, it happens more often than people think. Happened to my ex husband around 20 years ago. He LOST CASE before he walked in court room😖. Please tell me how I can get these lawyers to move faster and stop SUCKING off my dad and moms estate? My mom KNEW they would try and fight her new Will, so she had a professional company video tape it, because she had stage four liver failure and when her ammonia levels were REALLY HIGH, she would get forgetful. Her levels were just fine at the time of execution and signing of her Will. She KNEW EXACTLY what she was doing. I'm trying to get an injunction and summary judgement before they run the business into the ground and spend all the savings my mom had. Probate is Probate, but I know that his atty. Is already known to RUN THE BILL UP, as high as he can. Ugh:(. Prayers please. I feel so lonely and heartbroken. I want my JOY back.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your Dad sounds a lot like my 85 year old Dad. He gets time periods mixed up or combines two or three stories together. He's absolutely CONVINCED that he is the hottest man on the planet... that the women who help him bathe at the Adult Center WANT HIS BODY (HILARIOUS!!!).
His new "hang up" is that he's going to go out to California to see his estranged daughter that he abandoned and only calls him when she needs MONEY. He invites the 20 something nurses to go with him DAILY and claims that all the women at the Adult Center are fighting over him.
I can't speak to your legal plight, but I'm learning to understand that Daddy is sick and to find the cuteness of the situation. NEVER correct. Chances are your Dad won't remember half of his claims later
So sorry this has evolved this way. If my father had his vision, he would be running around just like your dad...and would no doubt have a fresh wife to do his bidding. Do you have POA? Is the attny you are using only representing you? If you are working with the attorney that works for the family, you need one that works for only you! Any chance you could get guardianship over him to prevent a new wife and the financial fraud that usually happens with quick elder remarriages? How is your relationship with his MD? His doctor could be an advocate if they have noticed his personality changes.
I have been feeling low because of all the hate that has been focused on me by my father. After hearing your story, my problems do not even compare. Be strong, we are all rooting for you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I agree that you should get him to a neurologist, but if that won't happened find out who is Dr is and give the office a call and let them know your concerns...
Also if he doesn't have an updated will, POA, medical proxy it's time to see an Elder Law Attorney ASAP..
Good luck!
He has the whole family on his side, because they "USE HIM" for money and free rent and Only God Knows what else. Lawyer filed my mothers documents and hoping to get a hearing soon for reading of her Will.
His new "hang up" is that he's going to go out to California to see his estranged daughter that he abandoned and only calls him when she needs MONEY. He invites the 20 something nurses to go with him DAILY and claims that all the women at the Adult Center are fighting over him.
I can't speak to your legal plight, but I'm learning to understand that Daddy is sick and to find the cuteness of the situation. NEVER correct. Chances are your Dad won't remember half of his claims later
I have been feeling low because of all the hate that has been focused on me by my father. After hearing your story, my problems do not even compare. Be strong, we are all rooting for you.