Any suggestions on getting my mom, who lives with me to talk about her future. She acts like she is just waiting to die, while at 73 she is in very good health, and her mental state is good too. When I bring up wills, or funeral preparations, she shrugs it off and says it doesn't matter. She is borderline depressed, but refuses any care other than to get BP meds. She has gambled (slots) all her money and is a very non-confrontational person. I need to keep the peace since she lives in our basement, but worry that in the long run, she is putting a huge burden on me that could be avoided.
What enables one to live well in her own home, cooking, cleaning, washing, watching TV, walking, while others of the same age, living in a basement, at the mercy of a child to take care of them? It couldn't be just the vitamins, the medicines, the DNA, the money in their bank accounts. It has to be something MORE.
I would like to hear comments about this subject. Don't tell me that 71- 78 is "old". It is not. Most of these people are perfectly capable of writing their own will, with legal assistance, signing their own documents if they wish, and minding their own finances. When they can no longer, feed themselves, bathe, dress themselves, walk or go potty without assistance, then it is time for us to step up and take over their care, but not until then.
Amen!
~Sooz~
Talking about the future with aging parents is never easy, but I think better to do it sooner than later. If crisis hits, and no one has addressed the subject of what our parents want, it can be enormously stressful for everyone involved, and some of that stress can be avoided by simply planning ahead.
how to bring the subject up depends somewhat on your relationship with your mom... It often helps to bring up changes in health or living arrangements of a friend, or a neighbor and ask her what she'd like to do in a similar situation. It gets her to start thinking about the fact that this might happen.., and also tell her that u are not telling her what to do, u just want to know how can you and her work together to make sure her wishes are met.
Another way to broach the subject is to make the conversation about you. You can tell her that u don't have a health care or a will and thinking about getting it...
Hope everything works out for you
You'll see. Later.
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