In the last two weeks, my 80-year-old mom with advanced vascular dementia has been refusing to eat. She's just recently been in hospital with reduced kidney function and a blood clot in her one leg. She's now back in frail care, her kidney function is now fine - she's on blood thinners for her blood clot but she's still refusing to eat saying it makes her feel sick. Doctors did a sonar and blood tests and there doesn't seem to be an issue with her stomach. Doctors have suggested that this could be part of the dementia. Any tips on how we can convince her to eat.
When a person is in the dying process, it is very painful for them to eat or drink as their digestive system is starting to shut down. So food or drink should NEVER be forced upon them.
Vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years.
My late husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2018, and he died in 2020, and he didn't eat for 41 days before he died and didn't drink for over 25 days, though he had a pain pump that was putting a little fluid into him each time I pushed the button.
Please don't let your mom suffer. Call hospice today, and they will come out and do an assessment.
Best wishes as you take this final journey with your mom.
https://www.todaysgeriatricmedicine.com/archive/JA22p14.shtml
https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Topics/Topics/Final+Days/Final+weeks+and+days_+What+to+expect.aspx
Why would you wish to push food on someone 80 with this level of health issues? Do you wish her to have another decade of torment with this and that thing? Do you wish her to go on forever?
It is normal for people to wish to eat less as they age, and to sleep more. Yet AC is full of well-meaning and VERY loving family members wishing to change what is a natural progression of aging. Should be live long enough we end non-verbal, unable to eat, bedridden and immobile and with our legs drawn up into contractures in a fetal position. That is to say we go full circle. I have seen it and can assure you it isn't to be sought.
Offer foods that she likes and that are nourishing. Some like a chocolate ensure mixed with icecream to have as a "milkshake". Some love a bit of jello. Just let her have it "her way". There are so few things in age that we have any choice about. This is a gift you can give her.
With vascular and or heart issues there is often, in the gut, a "full feeling" that MD can explain to you. Sometimes a bit of fluid congestion. But whatever the cause do allow her to eat what she wishes, ask if there's anything she'd like, and try not to become obsessed with it. You would be amazed how long we can go on with very little intake, and remember--in labs tests--the real skinny rats just live FOREVER.
My best out to you. I know you clearly care. But I am 81. Somethings gonna get me! And when they write the obit no one will say how young and beautiful I was when I went!