I've exhausted all my options. I don't know how much longer I can handle being my Grandmother's caregiver.
My Grandma has declined majorly the past few months. Christmas time she was doing good, eating full meals, getting out at least twice a week. Now she's sleeping 20+ hours, sick all the time, not eating, barely drinking. She's in a lot more pain than normal. She has these episodes where her dementia gets so bad, that she doesn't know where she is. She doesn't know who I am. Thinks her parents and grandparents are here and looking for her, that I kidnapped her. She has tried to run away (poorly, because she can barely sit up by herself, but still the fact that she tried...). We took her to the doctor, and they put her on Quetiapine and told us to give her Unisom sleep aids. Both of them made her worse. Even more confused (which we didn't know was possible), and severe hallucinations. Such as thinking her bed was a giant deep fryer, a tiger was sitting on her window, and giant teddy bears were flying around the house.
We took her to quick care about a month ago, and they said she had a bladder infection. She had been on antibiotics for it for 2 weeks. When they did the test again after the 2 weeks, they confirmed that the bladder infection had healed up. Last week, she pretty much completely stopped eating and drinking, refusing her meds, but she couldn't sleep, non stop abdominal pain, nausea, diarrhea, and increased weakness. We took her to the hospital, and they looked her over, said that's normal for her age and sent her home. The next day she was worse, so we took her to the hospital again (different one), and they said she was malnourished, dehydrated, low in potassium, magnesium, and sodium, with her blood pressure on the low end of the normal range. They admitted her to the hospital, gave her some fluids, and pumped her full of potassium. Then (before the iv dose was even finished) they took her blood, saw her numbers were normal (Gee, I wonder why) and sent her home. They didn't even keep her overnight.
The next few days, she was so sick because they gave her so much of the potassium at once. She did a little better the next day, then afterwards she had one of her breakdowns that lasted almost 2 days. We finally got her calmed down, called the doctor and they said to give her the Unisom. We explained what had happed, and the doctor just told us to try it again. *Rolls eyes*
Today she is sick again. Nauseated, vomiting, diarrhea, confusion, not eating, refusing her meds, and increased weakness. We took her back to the hospital and they said that they wouldn't really be able to do anything, and the best thing to do would be to take her home and watch her. If she gets worse then to call our PCP. *Hits head on wall*
The only thing we haven't done yet is contact hospice, and we can't do that without a referral from our PCP, who doesn't feel she needs it. I'm out of options. I have no idea what to do anymore. My parents are of little help right now, and I still can't get in contact with my Uncle (her POA). So N.H and A.L are out of the question. Even if they were options, I wouldn't feel right leaving her there like she is.
I mean, seriously? Do I have to call the police and force a hospital to take care of her? She can't keep going on like this. She's going to end up killing herself. I've done everything I could freaking think of. I surrender. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I've pulled 5 all nighters in the week, and the other two days I got less then 10 hours of sleep. (All together, not each day.) I don't know how to help or take care of her anymore. I'm on my last...everything.
Just to get this straight, though: your grandmother presents at ER with nausea, diarrhoea and vomiting, confusion and weakness and they say call your GP if it gets *worse*? Like, how, worse? Projectile vomiting? Bloody diarrhoea? Frank psychosis?
The last time you posted weren't you having trouble getting hold of your grandmother's PCP? Has s/he seen your grandmother since then?
Bit of a Hail Mary, but how about calling APS? You need someone to help you bang heads together.
I know that doesn't help. Sorry. If it were me - and something similar happened once with my dad - I pitched a major fit and in a loud, boaderline hysterical voice told them my plans for a lawsuit and going to the media if anything happened to my dad as a result of them not properly treating him - we were in the ER at the time - Friday night - huge audience in the waiting room. My brother had gotten a pillow for my dad and had helped him to lay down on the floor - then he began taking pictures with his phone. It took about five minutes for them to hustle my dad back to a cubical and arranged to admit him for the night.
Sometimes you just gotta be a high-flying b!tch, in this world.
You've got admission forms, you've got contact records, you've been chasing your tail for at least a fortnight this time alone. NOBODY is going to think you're to blame. And besides anything else, your poor grandmother needs their help and so do you. Call them.