My father had a stroke and is driving even though the doctor told him he could not for some time. What options do I have?

What, literally out now driving?

When he gets home, tell him that his doctor's advice (which, I have to say, could have been more specific and more emphatic) probably invalidates his insurance and that he must not drive until the doctor has confirmed that his health is sufficiently restored. If he is driving without valid insurance, he is driving illegally. There isn't a grey area, here.

One major risk is that your father might have another stroke while driving. He is a danger to himself and others. If he continues to insist on his "right" to drive (nobody has a right to drive. We all drive under licence from the state, hence it's a merited privilege, not a right), tell him that if he does so without medical approval you will inform the police.

And tell the friend what you think of him. Some friend!

Yes. Report him to DMV and send DMV the doctors note. Agree, tell him his insurance will be invalid if accidents occur and he could be sued for everything and lose his house, etc....scare the pants off him.

I had same issue with my mom yet DMV did nothing and she continued to drive. When the car wouldn't start she just call towing and they took it to be "fixed" and she was back on the road again.

Ah, cars and elders are no different than cars and teens.... they get grounded, pout, complain, sneak out and drive, etc. Some elders won't take "no" for an answer because they are the adult and you are just the kid, and what do we know :P

My Dad was good about not getting back behind the wheel after his heart attack, he was grounded for 6 months. In the meantime his eyesight was failing but Mom still wanted those dozen trips per week to the grocery store.

So many times I used "you will lose everything, your retirement, your savings, your stock, and the house"... is all that worth taking Mom to the grocery store because beans are on sale 5 for a $1.00?

Dad still got behind the wheel but he kept hitting the curb as he drove to a point where twice he damaged the front wheel, thus leaving him and Mom stranded, trying to find a house that would open their door two these two 90 something strangers who wanted to use their phone. Twice AAA was called to tow the car. Eventually Dad stopped driving, but Mom was in denial and still wanted Dad to drive her... [sigh].

Call the doctor so he can inform the DMV.

Calling the doctor so he can inform the DMV doesn't really work. We tried that with MIL's doctor. Instead, the doctor referred her to a Neurologist who told her she couldn't drive. But again, the doctor didn't inform DMV. We took the car keys and hid them and refused to give them back despite all the temper tantrums, crying, yelling and threatening to kill herself. She's still angry (1 1/2 years later) and I'm really tired of hearing about it but until the doc says she can drive, she won't get them back.

You can call the police and they will pull him over. That may be scary enough to prompt him not to drive. He may also get cited.

Take him to a remote area and let him drive around for a while, with you in the car. Maybe he just wants the feeling of being behind the wheel again.
Years ago, the same thing happened to me as your dad. I had a stroke, was in a coma for three weeks, and my family didn't want me driving.
Eventually, I started going up to a rural area in another state where my very elderly dad lived to take care of him, and somebody had to drive, so I did. My brother was there for a while, and so he sat with me in the car at first until I got used to driving again. Now, I drive my dad into town and am okay with that, but I wouldn't tackle city driving any more. I think in time your brain can rewire itself to some extent after a CVA. You just have to give it time and realize you will always have some limitations you didn't have before.

Assuming that your father lives in the U.S., follow all the above suggestions to call the DMV, even though it may result in permanent suspension of his license. Don't let your father risk his life or the lives of others.

You cannot afford the luxury of having him kill a member of someone else's family. Nor do you want him to kill a member of your family or himself. You cannot afford it. Nor can he.

In this process of caring for elders there are unforgettable moments when you have to do what you thought you would never do. You have to defy your father and make him angry with you for the greater good. You have to bear up under his anger and shrug it off, knowing you are right. This is an infamous one of those moments. Most of us will have to go through it.

Here is the recipe: take the keys, take all of the keys , and/or disable the vehicle, and don't look back. You Dad will adjust to a new lifestyle. You all will. This did not sound true to me--but it was.

My sister and I disabled the car (put sugar in the tank) so that it could not be driven. He never knew we did it. . You have a responsibility to others on the road (not to mention your father) do whatever is necessary to stop him from driving. This is an urgent situation -- every time he gets behind the wheel, he risks his life and the life of others.

I agree with 'some friend'! Hope that person hears about it. Do a Google for 'disabling a car,' there's probably something quick and electrical (sugar does permanent damage, doesn't it?). I know I'm going to commit salisbury's words to heart, hope you do too, OP. Good luck.

Take away the keys! If you must, take away the car too.

Sad to say we had to resort to a lie. My brother borrowed my mom's car said he had an accident and it couldn't be fixed when we actually sold it to someone. She didn't have $$ to buy a new car and was mad for a while but she had gotten "lost" a couple times and we couldn't continue to let her drive. But, you need to be prepared with a plan to get him where he wants to go and when.

Yes, sugar permanently damages the car. We didn't want him to be able to "fix" it and he could not afford to replace it.

I'm in the UK and when I realised my Mum was no longer capable of driving safely (she was about 89 at the time) I told her doctor who informed the DVLA. They called her in for a driving assessment which she failed - the assessor had to react when she turned right in front of an oncoming car - and they took her licence away. She was really annoyed and unhappy about it and didn't think she had a problem but I was relieved that she was no longer putting herself and others in danger.

Dear INHKid:

Please have another heart to heart talk with your dad. I know that it's difficult to give up the independence of having a car, but it is something that many, many people have to face.
Let your dad know that you, other family members, and friends will help him as much as possible to get to where he needs/wants to go as much as possible.

My mother-in-law and father-in-law were in an accident as they drove to the library on a Saturday morning. Traffic was light. The elderly driver of the other car crossed over the center line and hit my in-laws head on. My mother-in-law was killed, and my father-in-law nearly died.

Years later my father-in-law handed his car keys to my husband and said, "Son, it's time that I stop driving. I know that I'm no longer a safe driver."

Please convince your dad to do the same thing.

MsRandall did exactly what others I know have done, disable the car and tell him it will take a while for them to order the parts needed. Please do not let him drive.

SallyKB. You are one of the lucky few who have a reasonable parent who does the right thing. Most stories are the opposite. Sure wish my dad was one of the reasonable ones.
INHKid: My dad is an alcoholic. He would drive into town (3 miles) and get his beer and come home and drink it all. Every day usually, some times he would buy 30 beer pack and so that would last a couple days. Everyone here kept telling me to take his keys away but I kept putting it off. He seemed to drive ok; just slow. Well, last Aug he made an illegal Uturn right in front of a Mini van. She was not seriously injured but he was in the hospital for 3 days and then rehab for a week or so. Totaled his truck. So, we took his other (last vehicle) home with us as he said he wanted to give it to our son. (this was while he was in rehab). When he got home he had a notice from DMV that his license had been suspended. (Traffic officer wrote it up. Confused elderly man; no recollection of what had happened).
I praise God that my dad didn't kill anyone that day. He could have appealed his suspension but I didn't tell him that and when he found out it was too late.
I'm the only surviving family and I'm the compliant middle child who has always wanted dad's approval. This is the most difficult situation. It kills me when dad is mad at me. But, if someone had died that day I would be blaming myself for not doing the right thing.
If you dad can rehab enough to get the "all clear" from the doctor perhaps that will help your dad understand it's only temporary.
God bless.

I told my nearly 97 year old mother all the same things said here... to no avail. When I said that the next time she backs up and hits a car (which she did last year) or the next time she runs up over a curb, etc., the police MAY SEE IT and pull her over and her licence will be suspended... What do you think she said in response to that? "I don't care if I don't have a licence, I'll still drive." Thank you to several here who shared their experience of telling a "fib" about borrowing the car- and then it never is returned. Or just physically removing the car and never returning it. AND preparing ahead of that drastic measure by securing some kind of alternative for the parent to utilize to get their errands done. Although whatever "alternatives" are presented will never NEVER be "good enough" and will "cost too much" in their minds. AND the fallout for some of us will be extremely stressful for US care takers to live through! My mother is so self-centered, her need to drive is FAR MORE IMPORTANT than the welfare of others or my sanity. *SIGH*

My mother's doctor told her she did not want her driving. My mom kept telling us all that the doctor said she "could" drive when she felt better. She's lying!!! I took the keys when she wasn't looking and then moved the car to my brother's house. They get very stubborn at this stage, so you have to look out for them even if they don't want it.
My mom was poor driver when she was well, so imagine now....Yikes!

try removing some spark plugs or disconnecting the battery.

The loss of being able to drive is such a sad rite of aging. So goes the independence--even if it was just a trip to Bingo or the grocery store. BUT--with mother, we sat her down and said "What if you hit a child? You can't see above the dashboard! What if you get lost (again) and don't know where you are? Listed slowly one by one all the possibilities. She insisted she was fine. Then brother finally took the car and put the emergency brake on so hard, she could not get it "off". Let the air out of the tires. Took the distributor cap. Drained the gas. She got the message, sort of, she was just mad.
Every one of the fenders of her car was bashed in. Of course, it was NEVER her fault.
Finally after hip surgery, her dr said "ABSOLUTELY no driving". She realized only then that she did not have the strength in her right leg to do anything.
We made sure she had plenty of available chauffeurs and things have been ok. I know she'd rather be driving herself around, but we all feel better with her NOT being behind the wheel.

You can take a part out of the engine so the car won't start-work. I don't know the specific part, but a mechanic or someone who knows cars will know about this. As already suggested, let the police know the situation; if MD confirms it is not safe for him to drive get that letter for authorities AND show it to your father. From my experience, it is one of those "loss of independence' behaviors - and a huge one - that will likely create a response of anger and resentment - for a while. You'll have to 'ride it out' (comic relief). It is important to show compassion and understanding of this loss and not 'just' react to the anger, but understand what is behind it. It might be a good time to bring more people into his life - friends, volunteers, carers - since he is much more limited now in how he can reach out. If options, try to arrange for him to get to activities/day care.

About six years ago, I had a fall which resulted in a debilitating injury - my left hand and arm were shattered. I gave up driving, too. I have learned to live with using public transit for getting around, and I think it can be fun. It's fun to yell at the drivers when you're on one side of the road and they're going in the opposite direction; I just tell them they're going the wrong way now turn around and go the right way. You don't have to worry about gas nor insurance but keep a fare card with you at all times when you're riding the bus.

GET HIM OFF THE ROAD BEFORE HE KILLS SOMEBODY!!

You can't reason with them. Their brains are deteriorating. Doctors, police, DMVS, insurance companies, YOU, grandkids/Uncle George/Aunt Fanny - all can talk at them till blue in the face. It will not register. They will hear a sound and immediately forget. "You can't drive any more, _____ said so, do you want to kill someone?" You can repeat and repeat and they DON'T GET IT. And will keep driving. There is no reasoning. You must take the keys. Have someone take them somewhere, and find the car keys and take them. Substitute a look-alike key, or a blank, or just TAKE them. If there are no keys, they can't drive. (I took my mothers car keys after a fall, during all the hub-bub, off her key ring and the spare keys in the dresser drawer. She called a couple days later wondering if I could bring over my spare key to her car as 'my father came during the night and took my keys'. Father had been dead 27 years! Well, eventually she let it drop and forgot about driving, and a couple months later we moved the car out and sold it.) I guess I was lucky in that I wasn't nagged and yelled at, but even so, I would have done the same thing, in fact I would have done it sooner. (We thought, oh, Mom won't drive far, she'll just go to the dollar store or the corner grocery or McDonalds . She was going to McDonalds, paying, and then driving away without picking up her meal. She was going to the biggest grocery store across the county and spending $200 at a time for groceries she would never use. She was going to the mall, jam-packed with cars at all times. She was driving to 'church' and ended up 100 miles away. If I had known earlier this was happening, I would have taken those keys much earlier.)

I have an elderly neighbor who's in this boat - doctor told her not to drive. Her answer? She changed doctors and now she still drives! :-(

Best way to prevent driving is to take the car! Have it stored until he can drive. Taking keys or disabling will only work briefly. They always find a way to get keys or have car fixed. With no car he will have no choice unless he rents one!(suppose that could happen)

You can 'borrow' the car. Have someone drive you back and say 'the car broke down and has to go 'into the shop'. It can stay 'in the shop' indefinitely, 'waiting for a part', etc. Or it can get 'stolen' and you have the police looking for it. Come on, get creative, you can do this!

To some reasonable degree, I can clearly understand where he's coming from if this is his only mode of transportation and no one is helping him despite his condition. I don't know what the situation is over there, but all I can say in general is shame on those who are in a position to help others with obvious needs and don't! Around here, people would rather run their mouth's rather than to head to the obvious that's right in front of their faces. People around here must do the best they can with what they have and if people don't like it, they can just step in and help. Public transit is often very expensive and it seems like people companies are often preying on the poorest and neediest. If you ever wonder why some people drive when they shouldn't, now you know why at least in part. It's actually cheaper just to take yourself rather than to pay someone else out of money that can go toward your own personal vehicle. In some cases, some people who can't be on their feet for long or walk for far without arthritis pain for starters must get around the best they can even on power chairs and mobility scooters. those scooters can only do so much and go so far and only carry a little bit. Chairs and scooters do have their limits and around here most of the sidewalks are not wheelchair friendly. This leaves people to have no other choice but to ride out in the street and people who have a problem with that, I need to look at the obvious that maybe people there complaining about may need some help with transportation or even a car. Just from my own viewpoint and personal experience, I see why your dad is still driving, and to some reasonable degree I don't blame him, especially if he happens to live alone and have very few to no visitors. Sometimes you can have visitors but none of which have cars. Sometimes if you have someone with a car, they may be able to take you but their spouse may want an exorbitant price. That's not right. I can see paying someone for gas but not letting someone take advantage of us by ripping us off through price gouging.

I think if your dad had the right kind of help, there is a much better chance he may take a break from driving until he's better, but it must be approached properly by doing so very gently and lovingly.

You may actually try finding out when your dad goes out if you don't already know. If your car happens to be much nicer than his, that will definitely be one up because people like cars that are nicer than their own. Try popping up sometime right before he leaves and offer to drive him but don't pressure, nag, threatening, or push him if he's not willing. Just speak casually and it really helps if you happen to be going the same way to the same place or somewhere nearby. If he's not willing, leave it at that but don't give up, keep trying. I wouldn't put this too close together but definitely make an anonymous police report and even say something to the local APS. If you can get a hold of his medical record and a written statement from the doctor, that will help to pull him off the road even if it's just temporarily until he heals enough to drive again.

One friend of mine had some blocked arteries and when he went to be stented, the doctor doing the procedure noticed his arteries were clear again. This was shocking to the dr. because my friend started taking about 1000 units of fish oil daily. When tests were run, doctors were stunned that there was no longer any blockage anywhere in his system and I think I recall him saying they asked him how he did that and he mentioned fish oil that he was recommended by another doctor. I don't know if he took just one of those 1000 unit capsules or multiples, I don't recall but the best ones to come in I thousand units or higher. I was even shocked when I heard his story and if there's any better time to start taking fish oil, it's now while your dad most needs it. The higher the units, the better. My friend said he was taking fish oil for about four years and now all of his arteries are clear, even the ones that were blocked are now clear. Blocked arteries can cause serious health issues including stroke and heart attack. 

PS: 

someone on here mentioned disabling or vandalizing the car. This can get you in serious trouble, don't touch someone else's car! Putting myself in the patient's shoes, I wouldn't be so nice if I caught you tampering with my car, you would probably get seriously hurt or worse. Having a car, it actually becomes part of you depending on how bad you need it. This is why I seriously frown on anyone who would touch someone else's car. You're risking your own life because some people out there really will hurt you over their car. 
Your best bet is to just call the authorities and let them handle it, this is not your place or responsibility to take someone off the road. This is only a responsibility for trained professionals, just let them handle it as they are trained to do. 
As for getting under the hood and disabling something, I have noticed in most modern cars the only way under the hood is from a release lever (inside) the car. I really like the specific models where you can't tamper around to get under the hood, this would require the car being jacked up, and jacking up someone's car is enough to make them very suspicious. Some people handle the keys so well no one else gets inside of their cars, and they see to it that by securing their cars very well. If the doors are locked, the windows are up, and you can't get a hold of the person's key or remote, the owner is protecting their car, leave it alone. You may or may not realize this, but some people are armed and have been known to shoot robbers for starters. If those people have been known to successfully take down Intruders, what do you think they'll do if you tamper with their cars? Yep, you've got it, you may not live to tell it. Some people are very funny about not only their homes but also their cars. Tampering with either of those is one sure way to get you in very serious trouble and wake up in the hospital or even not at all. This is why you should only turn to the authorities if someone needs to be off the road. Don't take matters into your own hands, stay out of it and it and let the authorities handle it, that's what they're paid for. 

As for borrowing the car as someone mentioned, be very careful about this because many people won't loan their cars out or fall for such a trick of "taking it to the shop". I can guarantee that if someone tried to borrow my car because there's broke down, I would simply take them where they want to go, but I would never loan out my car. As for lying and saying something like putting a car in the shop and waiting in definitely for the part, no one in their right mind does that because shops get to customers cars very quickly and get them moving out of the shop. No one in their right mind will fall for that. Not all, but some people even up in years are very sharp right up to the end, watch what you say and how you say it because you never know when big surprises may come in on expecting packages that turn out to be dynamite. 

Never try to borrow someone else's car or try to move it. Some people want full control of their own vehicles and some people out there (though not all) are very watchful over their cars to the point they watch them like a hawk and all activity that goes on around them. Some people are very aware of their surroundings, and in the day  of security cameras, vandalizing or tampering with someone else's car can definitely get you in trouble these days. It's not worth the risk, don't risk it