How to deal with a wife who tells lies and dad w/dementia now believes her?
She violently verbally slanders and cusses, name calls us every time in front of him to point he refuses medical care & home c/g assist he needs; have evidence of half of the 8 categories of abuse of him including financial, physical neglect, mental/emotional, and others. How to proceed with what it takes to get restraining order and get her gone?
Can a guardian take this info to the court to take this action? Anybody know what it takes to separate them so dad can get out from under this negativity - he needs better care and emotional peace. Wife is the only thing preventing this!!
APS policies vary widely from place to place. I wouldn't rely on "what you've read". Just call them and report what you're seeing.
So, he transferred his assets to her. Likely there is a paper trail of that transfer; what was the justification? Was this an action they were told to take by an attorney? Do you actually have a dispassionate overview of what your father's care needs are? Otherwise, you risk sounding like an adult child whose interest here is in protecting an inheritance.
I would also consult with a well qualified eldercare attorney and ask what the best actions you can take are.
You mention a guardian. Do you have guardianship or are you thinking of pursuing that action?
and we intend to use his money on his care- inheritance will result if anything is left but no counting on it - just trying to do best for him and help him be happy and healthy in these last years. Oh- he’s dalready ‘set her up’ with 3/4+million$, house, car, etc etc. and she just wants to make us miserable since she’s been caught and the $ faucet is turned off! She walked out on him 2 years ago- he let her go too- but she said she’d return if he gave her money- he cashed in and gifted her 4 huge accounts then… so just collecting evidence now til there is enough to get her removed or press criminal charges if necessary.
Contact the lawyer that you went through to obtain Guardianship and they will most likely go to court and the judge will order your father to be removed and placed in your care, (or whoever has legal Guardianship)
The lawyer can also determine any financial fraud or abuse. (it might be expensive though as forensic analysis of accounts might take a while)
If your father owns the house solely you will probably have to legally evict step mother. And with COVID that is difficult at this time. So if they have to remain in the same house you might actually have to get a restraining order to keep her in a different part of the house from where he is. (movie War of the Roses comes to mind!)
If the house has to be sold in order to provide for his care it might be a very difficult sell if she does not want to move out. If she is on the title she can buy him out though.
You need to consult with the lawyer that drew up the original paperwork for Guardianship ASAP