Mom left us 2 girls a week ago to deal with it. We never wanted to have to put our dad in a facility, but he is a danger to himself and all others as he thinks EVERYONE is out to kill him, including us.. he doesn't recognize any of us anymore. We have a VERY busy highway one block away and if you even so much as go pee he's gone and we have to hunt him down. He is a danger to everyone including himself. We are currently looking for a facility to put him in. In the meantime he's running away from us every chance he gets.. how do we keep in him the house without having to dope him up with Xanax? They changed his medication to Trazadone, but he spits all his pills out no matter how we try to get them in him. Has anyone had better luck with one or the other of these meds and what is the best way you have found to get the pills down him. We have crushed the pills, putting them in shakes, ice cream, etc.. but can't keep him from spitting them out... any help would be greatful.. I;m afraid the cops are going to get involved before we find a home as one had to bring him home the other day when he get out... Please help if possible....
At the rate this is going on, he is going to get away from you. Take several good pictures of him, be sure you know who his dentist is, for locating him if he gets lost. You cannot restrain him, but I did put a howeler on his bedroom door. This is a little gadget you get like at Radio Shack that you put on with enclosed super sticky tape. On the outside of his bedroom door. When the connection is broken, like when the door is opened, it sets off a very loud shrill tone. He's free to open his door, but you will know it. You can use it on any door and turn it off/on as you need it. This is a temporary measure until he's safely placed. If he gets away again, call the cops to find him using the pictures you have. Also, you might maybe take him somewhere to get out in the open when the weather is nice, so he gets some walking in, prior to the evening when most elders get worse. You are in a tough position and I really feel for you. Hang in there.
You have the right to refuse to take him home and the hospital social worker WILL find a facility for him. In doing that, however, you may be giving up the power to choose. Depending on your area, there may be a shortage of beds. The hospital will need to have him admitted to the first available choice. That may not be where you want your dad. So I would begin touring nursing homes in your area. Some are definitely better than others. I remember when I was looking at nursing homes. It was such a daunting task. I had no idea how to evaluate them. Then a social worker gave me some really great advice: when you're there, pay attention to how you feel. Do you get a nice feeling from the place? How does the staff appear to treat the residents? How does it smell? Do the residents look clean? Relatively happy? How attentive are the staff? Do the people working there seem like nice people? Do they look like they're on top of things or tired and lazy? You'll know. Other than that, staff to patient ratio is huge. If they are understaffed, the care will not be good, no matter how skilled and caring the existing staff is. The medicare and medicaid site has info on staff to patient ratios and alz.org has a list of facilities that have a secure dementia unit, which you'll need. I would pre-determine which nursing homes are acceptable and which are not because if you leave him at the hospital, this could move very fast, which is a good thing. IMPORTANT: don't let anyone bully you into anything you're not comfortable with. Know your rights. Good luck. Please keep us posted. I could write a book on finding a nursing home for your loved one with dementia, but I shouldn't dominate this thread. Any other questions, please ask. The community here is a wealth of information.
Adult Protective Services needs to know about this risk It's possible that they can bump him up higher on a list for a care home. Please update us on how you are doing.
Carol