This led to her putting him in a nursing home because she couldn’t take that abuse any longer. Now that he’s in the nursing home he tells everyone he wants a divorce. Any suggestions? She is not cheating on him. He does not need to divorce her. He suggestions for her and for me on how to deal with him?
Regardless, you pretty much just have to nod and smile. You're not going to be able to change a dementia patient's mind. A non existant is a fairly common delusion.
My dad had his delusions but once he told me mom was out spending all their money and had boyfriends - I believe I told him I had their money and mom wasn't out there spending it - and for the boyfriends - "aw dad, you know mom doesn't have any boyfriends. " I don't think he believed me - but he didn't push the issue either - dad was still in the mid stages and could sometimes accept an answer. Dad died about 2 years ago and I recently told mom of this interaction - her response was I know he told me too. When I asked what she said to him she said "I told him, you know you're the only boyfriend I have." He died before he got any real entrenched ideas that we had to live with till he moved on to something else.
Sorry no real advise on this one - just a sympathetic ear. Blessing on all your family and a wish that your dad soon moves onto something else.
He was dead.
I agree, if SM visiting causes him agitation she may want to not visit as often. May be good for her too.