Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
well my uncle's wife was admitted to the nursing home because her daughters decided to do so because she got lost twice and she tried to kill my uncle. they didn't want him to visit her. I went once to visit her, but never went back because I don't like to see her in a vegetative state -she doesn't recognize us- and also she was always a know everything kind of person.. so many years have past and now I want to visit her again. it's hard and very stressful.
Have your lost interest or are you seperating because he's no longer the person he once was? If it's something you'd like to change counseling might be helpful. It sounds like it is an area of concern for you or else you would not have posted it. Are your father's needs presently being taken care of?
Caregiving is exhausting and it's natural to lose interest. My relationship with father was never close and it's strange that his care has dominated my life the past two years. I'm glad that my sister and I have seen that he's well taken care of but I often find visits tiring and difficult.
This is very natural, and very common. For one thing, you know that his well-being isn't likely to get any better. For another, its easier on us to remember them "the way they were" if they were good to us, and easier to think of them as a stranger if they were not so good to us. And when it is a complicated mix of things, it's quite a jumble of emotions to say the least!
But there is a problem in staying away; the person may be aware they have been abandoned if no one familiar sees them regularly, even just briefly. They found that even the people who did not seem to recognize themselves and others physiologically responded differently to familiar vs unfamiliar people in the room. And if no one is visiting except when their behavior gets outrageous and they demand it, then their behavior will tend to stay outrageous most of the time. Short, planned, frequent visits can be a good antidote and could eventually become part of a routine that is calming, reassuring, and stabilizing for an anxious loved one.
When I can get other family members to visit, which is like pulling teeth, my Mom (with moderate to severe vascular dementia) really appreciates it a lot and even opens up iwth my son a lot more about her old memories; she will tell him things she never told me. I decided I would do my mom's laundry just so I would "have to" visit a couple times a week minimum. I did this after 1) visits had not been going well for a while and she did not even seem to want me around any longer than it took to figure out what she needed me to buy for her, and 2) after I realized how much of her stuff was geting lost by the facility!!
I now actually try to get the laundry put away while she is at a meal, so there won't be any opportunity for her to call me an idiot and yell at me to hurry up if I can't do it fast enough, and took the advice not to come if I had already had a really bad day already and wouldn't be up to brushing off a little verbal abuse if I got it.
Its OK to find it is difficult to stay involved, but I would say take care to think for the person's point of view and do what is best for them too as far as you can. Maybe I should add "as far as you can, but no further." If your being invovled more would serve no purpose other than to get them upset or cause problems, then by all means don't! It is ideal that someone visits though just so they know the level of care is being monitored. And giving the regulars a break even if just once a month or quarter might be a good gift to them.
I have been reminded that this will be over some day. It seemed a little brutal the way it was said, but it reminded me that I will feel some peace in knowing that I tried to make things easier or better in any small way I could even when my emotions were elsewhere.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But there is a problem in staying away; the person may be aware they have been abandoned if no one familiar sees them regularly, even just briefly. They found that even the people who did not seem to recognize themselves and others physiologically responded differently to familiar vs unfamiliar people in the room. And if no one is visiting except when their behavior gets outrageous and they demand it, then their behavior will tend to stay outrageous most of the time. Short, planned, frequent visits can be a good antidote and could eventually become part of a routine that is calming, reassuring, and stabilizing for an anxious loved one.
When I can get other family members to visit, which is like pulling teeth, my Mom (with moderate to severe vascular dementia) really appreciates it a lot and even opens up iwth my son a lot more about her old memories; she will tell him things she never told me. I decided I would do my mom's laundry just so I would "have to" visit a couple times a week minimum. I did this after 1) visits had not been going well for a while and she did not even seem to want me around any longer than it took to figure out what she needed me to buy for her, and 2) after I realized how much of her stuff was geting lost by the facility!!
I now actually try to get the laundry put away while she is at a meal, so there won't be any opportunity for her to call me an idiot and yell at me to hurry up if I can't do it fast enough, and took the advice not to come if I had already had a really bad day already and wouldn't be up to brushing off a little verbal abuse if I got it.
Its OK to find it is difficult to stay involved, but I would say take care to think for the person's point of view and do what is best for them too as far as you can. Maybe I should add "as far as you can, but no further." If your being invovled more would serve no purpose other than to get them upset or cause problems, then by all means don't! It is ideal that someone visits though just so they know the level of care is being monitored. And giving the regulars a break even if just once a month or quarter might be a good gift to them.
I have been reminded that this will be over some day. It seemed a little brutal the way it was said, but it reminded me that I will feel some peace in knowing that I tried to make things easier or better in any small way I could even when my emotions were elsewhere.