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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Let us no more of what's going on. Are you her caregiver? Your age, moms age? Does she have dementia, other health issues?
Not enough information to give a good answer, but I'll tell you what I've been told.
Guilt is an emotion, to feel bad after we did something bad to someone. I suspect you didn't do anything bad. So you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Well because you didn't fill out your profile or share any reasons as to why you don't love your mum anymore, other than you put your question under "burnout," there really isn't much any of us can say. If you are your mums burned out caregiver and thus why your not feeling much love for her, I guess most of us can understand that. And if you were abused by her in any way shape or form in your younger years, you shouldn't be caring for her anyway, as no child abused by a parent should EVER take on their care. So if that's the case of course there would be no love there, and nothing to feel guilty about. But I'm just guessing here as you didn't give us much to go on, so hopefully you will fill in the missing details.
Loving is not a choice. You either love and admire or honor or respect a person or you do not. It isn't a matter you can choose about. It is a "feeling". There is no guilt. You didn't cause it and can't fix it. If you don't love someone, then--as Dr Laura says--just be polite and move on with your life.
Don't feel guilty. I don't love my husband. It's more like I don't love the demon that seems to taken over his body. I almost left him a few years back when I thought he had just turned into a jerk. Somedays I wish I hadn't been aware that it might be FTD (aka family curse) and left him.
Lots of people don't really love their parents. There, I've said it. It is, unfortunately, the truth.
It is what it is. You can't make yourself love her. And if she was abusive or neglectful or a bad person overall, there would be something wrong with you if you still loved her and were constantly trying to please her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your age, moms age?
Does she have dementia, other health issues?
Not enough information to give a good answer, but I'll tell you what I've been told.
Guilt is an emotion, to feel bad after we did something bad to someone. I suspect you didn't do anything bad. So you have nothing to feel guilty about.
I suspect your mom has done a lot of hurt to you?
If you are your mums burned out caregiver and thus why your not feeling much love for her, I guess most of us can understand that.
And if you were abused by her in any way shape or form in your younger years, you shouldn't be caring for her anyway, as no child abused by a parent should EVER take on their care. So if that's the case of course there would be no love there, and nothing to feel guilty about.
But I'm just guessing here as you didn't give us much to go on, so hopefully you will fill in the missing details.
It is what it is. You can't make yourself love her. And if she was abusive or neglectful or a bad person overall, there would be something wrong with you if you still loved her and were constantly trying to please her.
It's okay to feel this way.