My siblings are trying to the only place I've known of as home since 1996 because they are reinterpreting that my parents wanted me to hold onto the property for the 4 of us children. This was well known by all 4 of this but not questioning until after they both were dead. They were particularly concerned about me because "I was not able to create a life of my own" and starting a new career but had to only had a half hearted chance to begin then I had drop those due to my parents needs becoming greater and greater including toileting for my mom who eventually died of dementia. They wanted me to have the property for as long as I needed it provided that if any of my siblings became homeless I was agreeable to let them move back home. I was. Now they are trying leave me homeless by selling it quartering up the money for which I could not possibly replace my home. This is California, Alameda County. Please Help.
Did your parents have separate or joint well? Did they execute a trust? If either, what did these dispositive documents provide for the house?
How was the deed for the house titled? Was your name on it?
An elder law or estate planning attorney could be just as helpful in sorting out this situation, but he/she will absolutely need to know the answers to the questions I've just posed.
If you can answer these questions with specifics, others here can help you with advice on your dilemma.
#1. You are an adult and it was your choice to care for your parents full time until death. Yes, you sacrificed a career, benefits, 401K opportunity, wealth building - all to care for your loving parents. I'm sure your siblings were grateful that you did this and probably without extra compensation from your parents (for example, redoing their original will in 1996 and adding provisions for compensation or house rights upon their death).
2. As your sibs see it: They are grateful for your help. It saved money for the entire estate because you weren't paying caregivers all that time, parents weren't in expensive AL or memory care residential facility -- also saving considerably on the estate.
3. Sibs think YOU WERE COMPENSATED because all that time you were getting free room and board for your trouble/sacrafice.
4. Now the house is part of the estate, parents are gone; sibs want the house sold and estate split between all sibs according to the existing will.
5. You are not homeless. You can buy the other sibs out by paying fair value for the house and stay in it if you want. They will not turn it over to you for your trouble. You could offer to rent back at a fair value with rent being paid and split among the sibs; and maybe even talk to a lawyer and sibs about possibly a rent to own -- using your proceeds from the will to help you make those payments.
5. Don't know how old you are; but you should go out and find a paying job and restart your life. You have sacrificed greatly, this is a big loss for you but you must find the strength to not let this sibling fight over the house wreck everything or sour you on your family. Embrace the freedom you now have to start anew and with a heart full that you have loved and cared and spent precious time with parents you loved and cherished.
You can try to put a claim against the estate for the house that you earned, but it will be difficult. Quite a few caregivers find themselves in similar positions. They give so much, often without any reward except to know that they did what needed to be done. If you find a way to submit a claim, please let us know how it goes.
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