Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
The best way to handle this type of problem is to talk to the person's doctor and have them prescribe a good sedative like Saroquel, or you could give them the good old fashioned one two, I'm sure many people have handled this kind of situation in that very way when all else has failed, and I don't blame them if it comes down to this
My mother is in a Nursing Home completely unable to sit up, or turn her head! She gets frustrated at the way she has become and can't remember things! She cannot feed herself or use a beaker anymore!
I go nearly every day and sometimes she is placid! Another time she tries to attack the staff and screams! She is on medication which calms her but if she refuses it she becomes violent again!
They cannot force her to take her mess so I just go not knowing what to expect! I make sure she is safe! She has bed sides up! And I try not to take it to heart when she verbally abuses me!
The next day she does not remember anything so I take it a day at a time and cope the best I can!
The filters come off, the soul acts from the subconscious, they are losing control...some seem possessed...it's hard to watch, I know. Unfortunately I have watched many come through dad's memory care facility and no two cases are alike...a primary dr (tests) and psych dr (finding correct meds) should work together to find out what's happening w your loved one, and how to best serve him/her. Tell them you would like to be involved in this process, and know up front, this might require some trial and error (so the one is not a zombie, alert during the day, and rests at night, etc)
I am the farthest advocate of drugs, yet Depakote was used as a mood stabilizer for my dad. This helped him balance out almost immediately...
Care for yourself...you will get through this and adjust to the new normals. This is the hard part, getting one stabilized, just do your best, and take care of yourself, too!
Yes, the Positive Approach to Caregiving! Teepa's Gems - find out by assessing which gem (stage) the above family member possibly is currently by reading her Gem Chart then intercede by trying the suggested methods. Remembering that the patients fluctuate even hour by hour so what may work one time may not be affective the next time. Do not assume it's the disease until all underlying issues are ruled out such as uti or some source of pain that they can't communicate themselves. Being kind back to the patient reassures and getting down to their level making eye to eye contact, speaking clearly and without anger. They will likely mimic back the attitude of the caregiver. Be sure no abuse is taking place. Etc.
Savitaa is spot on with her answer . Absolutely do what she advises. Whether the drug is Depakote, Seroquel or some other, something will give you both some relief and calm. The doctors who know this type of behavior will find the correct drug/dosage.
For people who have very challenging behavior, I have found that the primary prefers that they consult with a psychiatrist, preferably, a geriatric psychiatrist. To me, they may be more equipped to order the most appropriate medication. (I realize that some Primary physicians do order meds for depression and anxiety in those with dementia, however, if the behavior is very extreme, I'd want closer look from a psychiatrist.)
I was part of the behavior team at the nursing home when I started training to be a NHA. We had a gentleman who was constantly screaming, moaning, and creating outbursts. What we did was give him puzzles to do (word finds, crosswords, sodoku, etc...). What we found was he was bored and our main purpose was to keep his mind busy. It ultimately worked for us. Now this will vary from resident to resident but you need to know what they used to like to do and what they can still do and keep their mind busy. Seroquel also helped but we found on the grand rounds if he was keeping his mind busy he needed less medication which was our goal to minimize the use of perscriptions.
Seroquel and similar drugs are extremely dangerous to give to elders. Yes I know it's tempting when an elder is loud. I personally cannot tolerate loud noises of any type. However, a friend of mine lost their mom to one of these drugs. They are really toxic to elders! My friend's family was able to sue. There have been multiple lawsuits regarding the use drugs. These lawsuits have been deliberately hidden from the public to avoid negative publicity. The dangers of these drugs have also been hidden. Why? These drugs make tons of money for the pharmaceutical companies. They can't afford to lose their billions.
These drugs should NEVER be given if the patient has any elements of Parkinson's whatsoever (including Lewy Body, or suspected Lewy Body). There has been a Black Box warning about this and it's often disregarded. Sometimes, Lewy Body is misdiagnosed as Alzheimer's, too. These drugs are given willy-nilly in nursing homes simply to silence patients. It's called "management." But really, it's elder abuse.
Researchers have used the Freedom of Information Act to dig up what has been hidden about these drugs, the hidden studies that show the dangers, and we can see what we should have been told all along.
"A good 1/2?" Hope not. Investigate why there is yelling and screaming going on. Remember you are their advocate, their voice. It may be a medical issue, possibly a urinary tract or something else that may be causing hallucinations. Is the facility or personnel experienced and knowledgeable with caring for someone with Alzheimer's? A visit to the primary doctor and a metabolic blood work up should be done to rule out for any medical concerns. A neurologist visit as well, they will suggest the right anti psychotic drug and dosage if needed. Most and all drugs have side effects and sometimes the goal is less or none at all, especially with Alzheimer's these days. It is a devastating disease, progressive. Due to brain changes, the frontal temporal lobe, there will be behavior concerns. Command of speech and filtering of language is going as well. There are stages of the disease, so, depending on the one the person is in, it may be next to impossible for them to voice their concerns or any discomfort. Educate yourself on the disease, knowledge is powering. Caring is a must, recognize signs of burn-out and address them, you have to take care of you as well. There's work here to do. Stay focused and strong.
Ibeenscammed, every dementia patient is different. The old saying is "if you meet one person with dementia, you have met one person with dementia". My mom is currently on Seroquel and Ativan. Without these drugs she would need to be restrained. She was becoming increasingly physically aggressive and no amount of diversion worked. The meds were started at a low dose and gradually increased until she became manageable. She is currently on an amount that I consider to be pretty high, but she has not suffered any bad effects and is calm most of the time. I am not disputing that bad drug reactions can and do occur, but sometimes drugs are blamed when it is actually the illness or simply old age that causes the death. I know that my mother is better off on these drugs than she would be restrained to a bed or chair. We all need to do what we feel is best for our loved ones and don't need others to make us feel guilty for the decisions we make.
When my mom was given a calming drug that was said to have some side effects with the heart [she has no issues with hers] I said that she was already 5 years older than her mother & 18 years older than her dad when they died so I figured her happiness/contentment now is more important than a possible down the road issue
When someone goes on a drug & dies soon after, it is not always the drug that caused death but the reason they took it in the first place! - we all have to all die at sometime but it is the quality of life they lead that makes difference -
When I was in high school the dr told Grannie that she should stop drinking tea which she loved - mom said something about trying to get her to quit but I said then that I'd rather she lived 6 months happy than 9 month miserable - I still believe that
The yelling & screaming is a stage & will quiet down when they move onto next stage - check that there is no physical reason first as above writers have said - FYI there is no right or wrong with this caregiving just do your best & try to do as you believe your dad would wish - good luck
All great answers and suggestions, except for the, "Old 1-2." That's a red flag🚩. First and foremost is identifying the reason why. Then a change, followed by the best solution. Day programs or the right facility are a blessing for an ALZ patient, engaged with activities and a stimulating environment with socialization makes a difference. Consistency and routine is important as well. Less is always best with meds, none being the best, especially the anti psychotics. With behavior concerns everyone has to be safe at all times, whether home or in a facility, so, if the need is there monitoring the use is priority. Sometimes with progression of the disease meds can be decreased or eliminated, a goal worth hoping for. Caregiving for someone with ALZ, or any disease, is not easy, it's devastating to watch changes and occurrences. There's involvement in caring. No set timeframe. Don't forget to care for you as well. 🌸
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I go nearly every day and sometimes she is placid! Another time she tries to attack the staff and screams! She is on medication which calms her but if she refuses it she becomes violent again!
They cannot force her to take her mess so I just go not knowing what to expect! I make sure she is safe! She has bed sides up! And I try not to take it to heart when she verbally abuses me!
The next day she does not remember anything so I take it a day at a time and cope the best I can!
Unfortunately I have watched many come through dad's memory care facility and no two cases are alike...a primary dr (tests) and psych dr (finding correct meds) should work together to find out what's happening w your loved one, and how to best serve him/her.
Tell them you would like to be involved in this process, and know up front, this might require some trial and error (so the one is not a zombie, alert during the day, and rests at night, etc)
I am the farthest advocate of drugs, yet Depakote was used as a mood stabilizer for my dad. This helped him balance out almost immediately...
Care for yourself...you will get through this and adjust to the new normals. This is the hard part, getting one stabilized, just do your best, and take care of yourself, too!
These drugs should NEVER be given if the patient has any elements of Parkinson's whatsoever (including Lewy Body, or suspected Lewy Body). There has been a Black Box warning about this and it's often disregarded. Sometimes, Lewy Body is misdiagnosed as Alzheimer's, too. These drugs are given willy-nilly in nursing homes simply to silence patients. It's called "management." But really, it's elder abuse.
Researchers have used the Freedom of Information Act to dig up what has been hidden about these drugs, the hidden studies that show the dangers, and we can see what we should have been told all along.
When someone goes on a drug & dies soon after, it is not always the drug that caused death but the reason they took it in the first place! - we all have to all die at sometime but it is the quality of life they lead that makes difference -
When I was in high school the dr told Grannie that she should stop drinking tea which she loved - mom said something about trying to get her to quit but I said then that I'd rather she lived 6 months happy than 9 month miserable - I still believe that
The yelling & screaming is a stage & will quiet down when they move onto next stage - check that there is no physical reason first as above writers have said - FYI there is no right or wrong with this caregiving just do your best & try to do as you believe your dad would wish - good luck