Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She no longer wants to go to church, watch, her favorite sports team, etc. She really just wants to lie down and read...which really means to sleep all day. She is on a new antidepressant, but doesnt appear to be working
Persons with dementia shouldn't be "forced" to do anything. Encouraged, yes. Offered, certainly. But if she doesn't want to go to church, even after you talk it up and suggest going to favorite cafe afterwards, I wouldn't try to force her to go. And I can't imagine how you could force her, anyway.
Persons with depression lack initiative. Getting started on doing anything -- even something they really enjoy -- seems just too much trouble. Lying there reading is just easier, and nothing matters anyway. (I once sat and read a magazine through twice, because it was too much trouble to walk across the room and get a different one.) For someone with depression it can be especially helpful if someone else takes the initiative. This can even include a fair amount of pushiness: "I know you don't want to go out, but Sunshine Cafe has your favorite dessert as its daily special and I know you'll enjoy it once we get there. I think you can wear what you have on but let me get your colorful cardigan and a necklace for you."
As cmagnum says, follow up on her treatment for depression.
My husband was very lethargic with his dementia and his doctor prescribed a med for excessive daytime sleepiness. He also took an antidepressant, but depression wasn't what was making him so listless. Dementia can really mess with circadian rhythms and sleep patterns. I hope she has a doctor who truly understands dementia.
How old is your mom and about what stage of dementia is she? There are personality changes with dementia, so it helps to know if dementia is new or if she's well into the progression.
It can be depression. It can also be that doing activities that were favored in the past are now too confusing. Brain changes can bring on what looks like resistance and stubbornness, in addition to depression. Definitely keep working on the depression.
My mom's memory wasn't necessarily affected by her dementia nearly as much as her executive functions and emotional regulation. Yes, she had some pretty fierce depression going on in there too. It was a hot mess. She got downright ugly and combative over any suggestion she get out and do anything, anywhere. Once in a great while, she'd drive the few miles to my dad's grave and be there for a while, until she fell out there in the cemetery, and had to roll to the car to get up. Quite the mental image. The cell phone from 1988 was still in the car and plugged in to charge, so she really was up a creek. She didn't go out there again.
Looking back over the years, I think we all assumed that her unwillingness to be social and "do" literally anything was 100% because of her stubbornness and depression. We assumed "wouldn't" when I think it actually had turned into 50% "couldn't". She was just really good at putting up a front to make people - and probably herself - think it was her choice to sit there in the house all day and night, doing nothing. Leave me alone. Get out of here. You can't tell me what to do. Etc.
The doing nothing was really bad for her mental stimulation, so it made her go downhill a lot faster. If you don't use it, you lose it, right? She would stare at the wall and not even listen to the radio or watch tv or read the mail. Living alone, way out in the country, it was a recipe for fast decline.
Now that she's in care, she is gotten up, dressed, given her meds, and taken to activities. She will protest that she wants to stay in bed, leave me alone, get out of here, etc. But when they get her up, dressed, fed, and into an activity, it's good for her. She has even enjoyed them a few times! Wow! The nurses & aids can do what I never could.
I think that having someone else work with my mom made all the difference. It wasn't me "making her" do anything, which was insulting. It's the people in charge instead. Her depression is carefully monitored and her meds adjusted when they need to be, which is a huge factor.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
They normally take about 2 weeks before working.
It she had been on this medicine for depression longer than two weeks, contact her doctor for it may need changing to a higher does.
How old is she and how bad is her dementia?
I would not force a person with dementia to do things.
Persons with dementia shouldn't be "forced" to do anything. Encouraged, yes. Offered, certainly. But if she doesn't want to go to church, even after you talk it up and suggest going to favorite cafe afterwards, I wouldn't try to force her to go. And I can't imagine how you could force her, anyway.
Persons with depression lack initiative. Getting started on doing anything -- even something they really enjoy -- seems just too much trouble. Lying there reading is just easier, and nothing matters anyway. (I once sat and read a magazine through twice, because it was too much trouble to walk across the room and get a different one.) For someone with depression it can be especially helpful if someone else takes the initiative. This can even include a fair amount of pushiness: "I know you don't want to go out, but Sunshine Cafe has your favorite dessert as its daily special and I know you'll enjoy it once we get there. I think you can wear what you have on but let me get your colorful cardigan and a necklace for you."
As cmagnum says, follow up on her treatment for depression.
My husband was very lethargic with his dementia and his doctor prescribed a med for excessive daytime sleepiness. He also took an antidepressant, but depression wasn't what was making him so listless. Dementia can really mess with circadian rhythms and sleep patterns. I hope she has a doctor who truly understands dementia.
There are personality changes with dementia, so it helps to know if dementia is new or if she's well into the progression.
It can be depression. It can also be that doing activities that were favored in the past are now too confusing. Brain changes can bring on what looks like resistance and stubbornness, in addition to depression. Definitely keep working on the depression.
My mom's memory wasn't necessarily affected by her dementia nearly as much as her executive functions and emotional regulation. Yes, she had some pretty fierce depression going on in there too. It was a hot mess. She got downright ugly and combative over any suggestion she get out and do anything, anywhere. Once in a great while, she'd drive the few miles to my dad's grave and be there for a while, until she fell out there in the cemetery, and had to roll to the car to get up. Quite the mental image. The cell phone from 1988 was still in the car and plugged in to charge, so she really was up a creek. She didn't go out there again.
Looking back over the years, I think we all assumed that her unwillingness to be social and "do" literally anything was 100% because of her stubbornness and depression. We assumed "wouldn't" when I think it actually had turned into 50% "couldn't". She was just really good at putting up a front to make people - and probably herself - think it was her choice to sit there in the house all day and night, doing nothing. Leave me alone. Get out of here. You can't tell me what to do. Etc.
The doing nothing was really bad for her mental stimulation, so it made her go downhill a lot faster. If you don't use it, you lose it, right? She would stare at the wall and not even listen to the radio or watch tv or read the mail. Living alone, way out in the country, it was a recipe for fast decline.
Now that she's in care, she is gotten up, dressed, given her meds, and taken to activities. She will protest that she wants to stay in bed, leave me alone, get out of here, etc. But when they get her up, dressed, fed, and into an activity, it's good for her. She has even enjoyed them a few times! Wow! The nurses & aids can do what I never could.
I think that having someone else work with my mom made all the difference. It wasn't me "making her" do anything, which was insulting. It's the people in charge instead. Her depression is carefully monitored and her meds adjusted when they need to be, which is a huge factor.
Sending hugs and good luck. Please stay in touch!