I am her PCA. She cannot walk so far to buses and trains, cannot walk the steps up and down, needs to sit--it is getting more and more difficult for her to get around and keep appointments. I was hoping there would be free lessons I could take so I can take her where she needs to go.
Certain buses are equipped with lifts to hoist wheelchairs up into the bus. Better to let someone with training and the necessary equipment handle someone with as much limited mobility as your mother has.
And there will come a time where you will need to go to the doctor appointments along with your Mom as a second set of ears is very important to get the correct information.
I always go with my parents, and after the doctor appointment I hear my parents chatting about the doctor appointment.... then I wonder, were we in the SAME exam room??? Their recollection of the appointment is not the same as mine :P
http://web.mta.info/nyct/paratran/guide.htm#complain
The ADA requires that persons with disabilities be afforded transit opportunities; if the service is as bad as you say, the transit authority should be aware so that it can address the problems and ensure that it's in compliance with the act.
This is especially important since it seems that you've experienced nothing positive with the service. I would also try to reach the managers of the paratransit service and see if you can get some support there; there are just too many instances of negative experiences that apparently have happened.
You could also see if there are any local senior centers that might have their own paratransit vehicles, or have contracted with AAR. Just the involvement of a center that's closer to what people need might offer a different level of treatment.
And there's always your legislative reps. Given the impending elections, some of them might want to take a stand supporting the elderly and might be willing to go to bat with AAR for you.
Sit down with her and talk through what she needs to accomplish, i.e. grocery shopping, hair appointments, doctor, dentist. Can she afford to cab to some of these destinations? Can some of these be consolidated and done with you via taxi on one day? Or is this a signal that she is needing more care and can't live independently any longer. Let us know how this works out, we all learn from each other.
With regard to AAR, have you thought about getting your local city council person involved? I would bump this up and perhaps find out if there is a local group involved in trying to make improvements.
if you have a neighbor with a car, would one of them be willing to teach you? Another low cost option might be the community colleges of CUNY.
Curiousity. What does assisted living and memory care cost in the city? I imagine the facilities must be multiple stories. Here facilities are usually two or three stories, occasionally you will se what we consider high rises going up to about eight floors max.