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I have recently discovered that my 73 yr old mother has stopped paying on her preplanned funeral arrangements, I paid the part for her to be flown back to home town at time of death but now find this out and it’s been 9 months since last payment. She has not told me the only reason i found this out is cause i talked to her about moving the arrangements up here where she is now living with family all family in area and she hummed around and wouldn’t look me and I and said no uh let’s keep it there , so i knew something was up. My question is am i responsible as POA for her funeral expenses or how is that to be paid — she wants to be cremated .. she has no estate or anything lives in a subdivision for elderly over 62 and lives on social security and has medicare medicaid no other finance.

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POA ends at death of the person who gave you the POA. You have no authority not responsibility here. That would be an issue for the executor of the estate. That person would use funds in the estate to pay legitimate bills of the deceased. Now, if there is no money in the estate obviously you cannot pay - have you checked to see how much cremation costs, the possibility of donating body to a medical school. A friend did just that.
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angela1973 Sep 2021
well i can’t remember what they said in florida it would cost but yeh i should check up here in tennessee thanks and i don’t know about donating to science even though i do believe she said to donate her organs on her drivers licenses
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Why not a natural burial?
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angela1973 Sep 2021
natural burial is ?? like in a casket ?
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Could you afford to take over the payments on the prepaid plan for her? Or buy life insurance on her? I got life insurance on someone I knew I would end up paying for the final expenses. I make the life insurance payments and am the owner and beneficiary of the policy. If anyone else thinks about doing this be sure you become the owner of the policy. Usually the insured person is the owner and could change the beneficiaries on you without your knowledge. That could defeat the purpose of you having the proceeds to fund their final expenses. In my situation the insured person had to sign over ownership of the policy on the company's forms to me. Worked out easily. The insured person is relieved to know that their final wishes will be carried out and I know I'll have the money to do it.
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angela1973 Sep 2021
no i barely can afford life insurance on me and my daughter as husband only one who works and i don’t even have it on him yet i am trying to get disability.. since she hasn’t paid since january to catch it up is like almost 550.00
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My Moms prepaid funeral was set up as a trust. I cashed in her insurance policy and put the whole thing in a trust. How was Moms set up? Is it like an insurance policy? Does she lose what she put into it if she hasn't made payments?

If you haven't, call the company who holds the policy. She may be entitled to what she has already paid in. Do not cash it in because Medicaid will see that as income. Medicaid may pay towards Moms funeral but its not much and someone on the Forum says family is limited to what they can contribute.

No, as POA ur not responsible to pay for a funeral. If the principle has no money then the State may help but again not much.

I suggest that you have Mom put you on all accounts she makes payments to as a contact person when those bills go unpaid.
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angela1973 Sep 2021
ok thanks i will call them and see if it did have it set like that .. i know she canceled the life insurance a year after she got this cause why have both she said even though i said well i will be responsible for your bills when you die that you haven’t paid like credit cards ands and these loans you have it she said who cares don’t pay them and i can’t talk to her about banks i know she has a checking account and where it’s at but this is 4 th bank in a year and half cause she talks to these men in computer who say they are in service abs this one in beginning of year convince her to give him her account number so he could wire money to her so she could wire to someone else well 1st bank seen this recognized it fraud closed her account while froZe first she went in showed her a.. then after alk her talking to managers she closed her account same thing basically happened at two other banks before this last one — she opened this last one and told my daughter not to tell me ( please note she has early stage dementia/ alzheimer’s.. but lives alone as so far she still can and when i try to talk with her about these things boy what’s a mess she treats me like she did when i was a child yells screams hollers cusses me
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I hope you didn't pay to have her body flown back to be cremated later. My mother's cremation last month cost $795, and I think it was an additional $100 at the most to have the ashes sent. (Not necessary in our case -- I'm just remembering the price sheet.)

Don't use a mortuary -- they charge vastly more for the same cremation. Just use a place that only does cremations. I made the mistake of using a mortuary for my dad's cremation three years ago, and it was $2700.
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angela1973 Sep 2021
i honestly do not remember if it was to fly her body home to florida or not and i would have to look at paper work again thanks for the idea of just a place that does cremation never knew there was a place as we went to funeral home when she set alk this up 4 years ago
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No, you as POA are not personally responsible for any of her expenses unless you sign any documents agreeing to pay. (If you do sign make sure you add a notation that you are acting as her PIA.)

POA gives you permission to act on herself, with her agreement, to pay bills and and make arrangements on her behalf. If you have check signing rights you could start making those funeral payments from her account.

Also, most POAs are issued on the state level so make sure you have the correct ones. The Federal level does not recognize POAs.

My parents made no plans for their funeral expense so when the time came I opted for what they had money to spend - cremation and burial in the local Cemetary for about $2000 including the plot. Mom paid $1500 for a shared headstone.

When your mom dies the POA becomes void and then the executor named in her will takes over to settle any financial matters. I suggest you discuss this with the funeral home director, if you have POA.
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Angela, saw your response.

When your Mom passes you are not liable for her bills. You pay what you can with the money that is there, no money no pay. The debtors will just have to take a loss.
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gladimhere Sep 2021
I think you mean the creditor will have to write off the loss. The debtor is who owes the money.
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Frances73 wrote:

"Social Security pays a small sum too, $200-300, toward funeral expenses."

From https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/survivors/ifyou.html

"Does Social Security pay death benefits?

A one-time lump-sum death payment of $255 can be paid to the surviving spouse if he or she was living with the deceased; or, if living apart, was receiving certain Social Security benefits on the deceased’s record.

If there is no surviving spouse, the payment is made to a child who is eligible for benefits on the deceased’s record in the month of death."

I do believe the "eligible" child refers to a child who is qualified to receive benefits through the parent, such as a minor or disabled child. I don't believe we "adult" children get squat! All I got was nasty mail demanding the last payment back - I was SO annoyed because the funds were withdrawn BY SS THREE DAYS before the date on the letter. The envelope was postage paid, so I send NASTY mail back to them!!

Along with that, note that SS payments are paid a month behind, like a paycheck is paid the week (or other pay period) after you work. So, SS payment in January is actually for December. IF the recipient dies at ANY time in December, the January payment either will not be made OR has to be returned if it processed.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2021
I replied further down that my Mom received the $252 for my Dad but I received nothing for my Mom as her adult child. I think the $252 is a joke and should be stopped.
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As others noted, POAs are legal documents that allow you to manage someone else's affairs, such as banking, bill paying and/or participate in medical care.

At NO time, before or after death, is a POA responsible for someone else's debts. The only time one would be is if they signed off to be the responsible party, or it is a joint account, such as a loan or credit card.

ANYONE can be appointed POA, even attorneys. Sometimes there isn't family to be appointed, for a variety of reasons. NO person would EVER agree to become POA for someone if it meant taking on their debt! So, rest assured that you will NOT be responsible for her debts. You may get harassed by collection agencies, but despite what they say or do, you DO NOT PAY.

POA does end at time of death. Just because you were caring for her doesn't make you liable to take on her debt. Again, someone with no family, living in a NH dies with debt, they can't collect from the NH! Just because she's your mother doesn't make you liable either. She's an adult and took on this debt herself, so they will just have to eat it if she passes before paying it off.

That said, if her funeral account is short at time of death, some arrangement would have to be made to cover the remainder. If she has any assets left, those can be used, but it might be wise to set up a special account and siphon off a little each month, as you won't be able to access her account after death (only the executor can - if no will/no one appointed, someone might have to go through probate to access any remaining funds.) ALSO NOTE: as I wrote in my other comment, SS is paid in arrears, like a paycheck. So, payment in September is actually for August. IF the person passes in August and the September payment is processed, do NOT spend that money!!! SS will demand it back. I knew this to be the case, but was appalled at the nasty mail they sent, even though they had already withdrawn the funds 3 days before the letter was processed! Oh sorry for your loss, but PAY UP!!! I sent them nasty mail back.

I would contact the agency handling the pre-planned funeral arrangements and see 1) if the account is still "active", 2) how much is needed to "catch up" and 3) can they make special payment arrangements for her. I think you wrote the account is "owed" $550, but there may still be ongoing payments that will need to be added to that.

Given the dementia and limited income, they should understand and be willing to work with you and set up a reasonable payment plan. My mother set up accounts for my dad and herself. He passed too soon, so there was $ to be paid (I recall seeing a rather hefty check she wrote!) In her case, over time the trust gained interest and in the end she owed nothing! She outlived him by about 12-13 years. It was mainly for the cremation, death certificates, etc, as dad was a Marine in WWII and was eligible to be buried in the National Cematary, and spouses can be interred as well.

Also note, as Frances73 wrote, federal entities do NOT honor any kind of POA. This includes VA, Medicare, SS, IRS and probably many more. In order to manage your mother's SS, you need to sign up as Rep Payee. Call the local SS office to inquire/start the process. If approved, you would be the only one who can manage her SS funds and it would need a special account and yearly reporting (can be done online, just keep good records, it isn't difficult!) This approval also gives you capability to manage her Medicare as well. NEITHER of these come with any obligation to make payments for her from your funds!
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As next of kin you will be responsible for funeral costs, which should come out of her estate if she has any assets.
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2021
In the USA that is not the case.

You pay up front and if no one pays, no funeral.

Many states have a program that will cremated for no or low fee for families that can not afford it.
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You should reconsider her plans.

You can spend thousands of dollars just to prepare a body for transport across state lines. There are strict guidelines for doing this.

If it would cost 550.00 just to bring the policy current you could have her cremated for not much more.

I would find out if the money paid in partially refundable and make different plans.

I personally think spending thousands or tens of thousands on interning a dead body assinine. It is an industry that is very lucrative because people think it's some kind of legacy to their life, your children and grandchildren should be that legacy and where all that wasted money goes.
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I am with "is this".

Yes, I had a funeral for Mom. But cashing in her insurance policies gave me 10k that I was allowed to preplan her funeral. We children paid for flowers and a luncheon. That 10k only covered getting the body ready, her coffin and a viewing before the service.

You need to first find out about that policy. If you need to ship her body, that is expensive and like said a lot involved with the State. My MIL was cremated and the urn shipped to us with no problem. If we had been there, we could have brought it home with us.

If you have her cremated and still want her ashes buried, lets say with her husband, you still have to pay fees to have the grave opened for that urn. Cemeteries seem to be wising up to cremation being used more and are charging more for things.
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