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Mom is 83. in an independent living community. There are no special diets. she has free will to eat what and when she pleases. and she's gained a lot of weight. i'd say maybe 25 lbs this past yr. how do in coax her into eating better? we go to the grocery store, she buys fruit, but then doesn't eat it. I wind up throwing a lot of her food out. she argues with me about what she wants to buy. if I buy it and take it to her, she still wont eat it. loves her sweets. snack foods.. they have coffee and donuts in a bistro every morning. that's where i'll find her. and plates of donuts brought back to her room. not too big on the walking or exercising. i'm lost...

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pd, I think the most important thing is to know that we can't control what they do. We can toss the ball their way, but they're the ones that have to pick it up and run (or walk slowly) with it. We can't spend too much of our time trying to get them to engage. That wouldn't be fair to us and would probably make them feel miserable. They would probably just see it as nagging.

Sometimes it is best to let them lives their lives in the way they choose, and hope for the best.
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I am a nurse specializing in gerontology. For many people, already having to give up so many things that are important to them, the pleasure associated with eating becomes a quality of life issue. Sure, her physical functioning may decline due to the weight gain. Then there's the expense of buying new clothing. But a person with Alzheimer's is not necessarily going to comprehend consequences of eating the "wrong" foods. Restricting her could cause her to be frustrated and depressed, and depression also contributes to physical and mental deterioration. Exercise is beneficial if a person enjoys it. I say allow your mom to enjoy herself. Quite often, illnesses--including dementia itself--will eventually take a toll on her appetite, and unavoidable and perhaps undesired weight loss will ensue.
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This is a hard question because we can't control what they do. Even when we live with them it is hard to control things without making both them and ourselves miserable. The things you can do are what you are already doing -- providing healthy alternatives. The other thing that may work is to let her know she is getting too heavy and soon her clothes might not fit. It would also make it harder for her to walk. I don't know how far along in the disease she is, but truth kindly said is often the best way.
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Another thought - are there exercise classes in the IL facility, and if not, could you speak to one of the admins to see about starting some. If exercise is combined with socialization, before the bistro visit, it might encourage her to go.

The ALZ might be a complicating factor in any weight loss attempt though, so you might have to think of ways you can sneak in the exercise as a function of some pleasurable social event.
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I do worry about the 2-3X, though. I know it makes it tough on her back and legs. I do understand your concern, but know there's only so much you can do.
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I think that it might not be realistic to expect an Alzheimer's patient to exercise good judgment and self control. It's not something they are likely to be able to do. That's even difficult for people who don't have brain damage. Plus, she may be forgetting what she has just eaten, so cutting back, will be not be likely.

How advanced is her condition? As she progresses, it's likely she will need more supervised assistance. At that time, the meals and snacks will become standard and maybe, she'll lose weight then. Also, I've noticed that a lot of people with dementia tend to lose weight. I'm not sure why.
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Unfortunately we can not turn back the clock and have the person we remember back. If we truly love them we do everything to keep them healthy but as Jessie says making someone do anything is just not possible. Eating is one of the things that gives her pleasure and you can't remove the donuts from the facility although you can advocate for a healthier choice with coffee or at least not allow residents to stock pile them. As far as the activities, bingo and puzzles are there for the residents enjoyment, this is not a correctional facility. If she won't eat it don't buy it. Can you make her favorite things with for example artificial sweetener not sugar. Above all don't make yourselves miserable with things you can't change. Enjoy the time you have left with your Mom.
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The headline to the question: "How do you get an Alzheimer's person to lose some weight?"
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Is it an option to speak with the management about cutting back on offering the donuts? They could perhaps offer healthier snacks that aren't so toxic. Maybe have the donuts once a week or something like that. 25 lbs is a lot. Maybe it's time to move her to a safer environment where management is more concerned about the health of their clients. I'm assuming the donut shop is part of the facility. To me you should at least let them know of your concern. This seems wrong on so many levels to set up someone who can't make reasonable decisions about their food choices.
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because this is an independent living center, not assisted living, they have almost no interaction with the people.. if you raise their level of care, the will do more. but money is the factor. the more you need them to help the more it costs. already over 3000 a month. and she doesn't qualify for help.
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