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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Your question addresses a challenging issue, one that isn't always possible to counter, especially if the person doesn't want to engage or if the obstacles are so overwhelming. So I would say that the method of approach is to identify the limitations and obstacles, and try to find ways to compensate for them.
Was she socially active before becoming more frail? Or was she primarily a loner? If the latter, attempting now to involve her in social activities probably is a non-starter. If the former, you might have to focus on her specific limitations and try to figure out ways to compensate.
E.g., declining mobility is a major issue, as is the fear of falling. Possibilities of addressing this in terms of social contact are whether or not she's using assistive devices and whether or not they're suitable for her. I.e., is she using a cane, walker, rollator, wheelchair?
Other factors are sensory ones. If she wears glasses, are they current? Is she able to hear well? What about sense of balance (a doctor can script for home PT to help with this)?
If she can't get around, it's a major deterrent to mobility. You might even want to jot down each of the issues and conditions which challenge her socialization, then try to think of ways to compensate for them.
E.g., there are social activities at senior centers, but if limited mobility is a factor in getting to the center, find out if there are paratransit facilities provided by the center. If someone takes her from her door to the facility, there's a sense of safety and she's not alone.
If she's not comfortable going out, how can you get create alternative methods of communication? Can friends' families bring their friends over? Can they meet somewhere, such as a restaurant? Caregivers and their parents? What other means of getting together are possible? Do they attend the same church? Any club interests? Book club, reading interests? The caregivers can provide the transportation and either stay and participate or return later.
Can friends bring over their elder, leave him or her for dinner (and/or stay themselves? Could pot lucks work for a larger group? The family members can start the conversations and keep them going. But recognize also that sometimes larger groups are unsettling to elders, especially if there are very active young children.
Sometimes you really do have to work on potential solutions on a one by one basis. Your questions are very, very relevant, but the solutions are not easy to identify.
But remaining at home is one method, and it's worked for my father. Since he's been a woodworker, gardener, and more, and has built some beautiful woodworking projects, some of the neighbors ask for his advice, or to borrow something from his massive tool collection. This leads to chatting; the neighbor brings over some food, leading to more socialization.
This is one of the reasons I feel that some elders benefit from remaining in their home and interacting with younger neighbors, especially those with families. Seeing the little ones, going out to meet neighbors walking their dogs...these are all very healthy and helpful activities.
This is at least the 3rd variation of the same question you've asked before. If you can tell us specifically what issue you're having you are likely to get more detailed answers.
Declining mobility & diminished senses have led to fewer trips out of the house and fewer social contacts with other people. Other sons & daughters don't live locally, so they can't visit that often. Friends are also experiencing similar issues, so they visit less frequently. Although unacknowledged, feelings of isolation & loneliness seem to be setting in, which exacerbates their medical & physical problems.
How do you encourage, and enable, friends (who may have their own mobility & other aging-related issues) and family members, including kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, etc. (who may have their own limitations related to family, work & personal issues) to stay engaged with an aging parent? How can you get the larger circle of family & friends to help keep an aging parent socially connected and emotionally well? How can you do that in a way that works for your aging parent, the other family members & friends, and yourself (the overwhelmed, primary family caregiver)?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Was she socially active before becoming more frail? Or was she primarily a loner? If the latter, attempting now to involve her in social activities probably is a non-starter. If the former, you might have to focus on her specific limitations and try to figure out ways to compensate.
E.g., declining mobility is a major issue, as is the fear of falling. Possibilities of addressing this in terms of social contact are whether or not she's using assistive devices and whether or not they're suitable for her. I.e., is she using a cane, walker, rollator, wheelchair?
Other factors are sensory ones. If she wears glasses, are they current? Is she able to hear well? What about sense of balance (a doctor can script for home PT to help with this)?
If she can't get around, it's a major deterrent to mobility. You might even want to jot down each of the issues and conditions which challenge her socialization, then try to think of ways to compensate for them.
E.g., there are social activities at senior centers, but if limited mobility is a factor in getting to the center, find out if there are paratransit facilities provided by the center. If someone takes her from her door to the facility, there's a sense of safety and she's not alone.
If she's not comfortable going out, how can you get create alternative methods of communication? Can friends' families bring their friends over? Can they meet somewhere, such as a restaurant? Caregivers and their parents? What other means of getting together are possible? Do they attend the same church? Any club interests? Book club, reading interests? The caregivers can provide the transportation and either stay and participate or return later.
Can friends bring over their elder, leave him or her for dinner (and/or stay themselves? Could pot lucks work for a larger group? The family members can start the conversations and keep them going. But recognize also that sometimes larger groups are unsettling to elders, especially if there are very active young children.
Sometimes you really do have to work on potential solutions on a one by one basis. Your questions are very, very relevant, but the solutions are not easy to identify.
But remaining at home is one method, and it's worked for my father. Since he's been a woodworker, gardener, and more, and has built some beautiful woodworking projects, some of the neighbors ask for his advice, or to borrow something from his massive tool collection. This leads to chatting; the neighbor brings over some food, leading to more socialization.
This is one of the reasons I feel that some elders benefit from remaining in their home and interacting with younger neighbors, especially those with families. Seeing the little ones, going out to meet neighbors walking their dogs...these are all very healthy and helpful activities.
How do you encourage, and enable, friends (who may have their own mobility & other aging-related issues) and family members, including kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, etc. (who may have their own limitations related to family, work & personal issues) to stay engaged with an aging parent? How can you get the larger circle of family & friends to help keep an aging parent socially connected and emotionally well? How can you do that in a way that works for your aging parent, the other family members & friends, and yourself (the overwhelmed, primary family caregiver)?