My mother does not want to move out of her chair in the living room. Not to go to toilet, nothing. I need to change her pull ups. but it seems impossible. I plead, beg, try to be firm, give hugs, nothing works. She sits in the wet or soiled pull up for hours. I know she finds it physically difficult to get up and I try to support her but she leans back cries out that I hurt her so eventually I give up. She does not cooperate to try and get up. (and I understand that she does not understand what Im asking but I need to get her cleaned up!) Any ideas?
Have you tried a Sit to Stand or if she can not support her weight you may have to use a Hoyer lift.
I used a Sit to Stand for my Husband for quite a while and the CNA from Hospice suggested several times that a Hoyer would be easier. I resisted but it came time and once I got used to the Hoyer it really was easier to move him.
It just might be easier to change and clean your Mom while she is in bed this is where the Hoyer came in handy. I could place him on the bed, change him then lift him back up into his wheelchair. It was shortly after we got the Hoyer that I came to realize that bed was actually the safest place for him. I could change him easier, roll him if he began to cough or choke and since he was sleeping most of the time the hospital bed we had was an alternating pressure mattress so I did not need to worry about moving him, changing positions extremities.
So consider getting a piece of equipment to help you both.
If you think she is eligible for Hospice contact one of your choice and they will set you up with all the equipment and supplies and help you need.
#1 If you can afford it, buy a chair that is able to automatically put the elder in a standing position.
#2 Tell her that she is ruining you furniture.
#3 Get someone from the VNA (Visiting Nurse Assn) in to get the job done.
#4 If all else fails, use lots of concentrated room spray.
I agree that you do not want to hurt yourself in trying to get her up by yourself, but I don't agree that you need to drag her out of the chair or use verbal aggression. That will work against you. The recommendation of a hoyer/sit-to-stand is wonderful! Depending on insurance, with referral and medical necessity, insurance will participate in these fees. This could greatly reduce your physical stress! If your mother enjoys sitting in a recliner that allows her to be close to laying straight back or enjoys sitting in bed, there are ways to change her brief by merely rolling and manipulating. Learning this technique to ensure proper hygiene would be a great way to start. When this becomes routine, it is at that point you may consider trying various ways to implement alternative physical activity!
Please know you have options!! If you have any questions, feel free to reach out!
I think you have to make the hard decision on whether you intend on this being your way of life from now till your Mother dies or look into Home health care or transitioning her into care outside of the home.
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