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My mother went into rehab after several surgeries and a serious illness. It has been a long slow recovery and now the facility is discharging her from rehab into long term care. She does not need skilled nursing, only some help with daily tasks. She is ambulatory with a walker. She strongly believes that she is ready to be home with some home care support for daily tasks and driving. I live out of state and have spent a few long chunks of time in the area spending time with her everyday, but it's hard to have a good sense, though I tend to agree that the care team is being too restrictive in their assessment.
Has anyone tried to get a second opinion on someone's abilities and level of independence? What type of professional would you even contact?

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You can get a geriatric care manager. Likely will pay out of pocket, like an hourly consulting fee, but that can be well worth it
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Reply to strugglinson
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IF you want to try something covered by insurance, could see a geriatrician doctor, and possibly also an independent physical med and rehab doctor. They could well cover the topic and give you the information you need. After all, when going into an assisted living, generally what is required is a detailed form to be filled out by a PCP or geriatrician, where they indicate all the care that will be needed
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Reply to strugglinson
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I trusted the staff at mom’s rehab facility. Get another opinion if it makes you feel better.

Ask for home health care in her home if needed. The OT and PT in a home setting can be helpful alongside rehab in a facility.

Mom’s OT rearranged furniture to accommodate her needs for her. PT made sure that her walker was adjusted correctly and helped in numerous other ways.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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If this is not here, it is coming.
She is in care and that is the easiest and safest place to get someone from care to long term care.
If she goes home this is a risk for her, and will prolong the inevitable.
At the end of life it is no longer about "what will make us happy". I am 81. At the end of life it is about loss upon loss upon loss. It is difficult to witness but it is the cycle of life.

Your decisions, yours and your mothers, are your own, but if they tell you this is unsafe I would encourage you, since you are not there to SEE things daily, to believe them.

Do know you can be included in discharge and care plan conferences and SHOULD be; I was for my brother. There the PT and OT and MD and Social Worker will all tell you what they are seeing. This may help you. So would a visit.
No one will send your mom to another rehab for another eval. These things are covered by Medicare in the way they are covered.

I would make a visit if you remain so uncertain in your own mind.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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The Rehab cannot release her if she has been evaluated for 24/7 care. Can she afford 24/7 care in her home which will cost at least $20 or more an hour? LTC is going to cost at least 10k a month. If she does not have that kind of money, then she will need Medicaid and her SS and any pension to pay for her care.

Would she go for an Assisted Living? Her house could be sold to help pay for the AL. They would provide transportation.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Your mother has "age-related decline, cancer, depression, and mobility problems" yet you don't think she's in need of full time care? Is the cancer terminal or will it get better with treatment? With you being out of state, how will she function at home with these issues?? No elder feels like they "need" long term care, and wind up not hiring in home help when left to their own devices.

I'd feel a whole lot better if my mother were in long term care with me in another state than trying to figure out crises, emergencies, caregivers not showing up IF she hires them, home repairs, grocery shopping/prepping food, transportation, getting to doctors, getting meds, etc. It's not reasonable to expect her to manage all this herself, or for part time aides to either. Unless she has the funds to pay for 24/7 in home care, she's better off in managed care.

Get all the opinions you'd like, but common sense dictates an elder of advanced age, and with a history of cancer, surgeries with long recoveries, etc, needs a LOT of help with a LOT of things.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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