My mother has dementia. Her late husband's daughter took over finances and won't give us any account information or details. She is not POA, just a signer on the checking account. How can we get details about all of her accounts and make sure they are being managed appropriately?
You want her to do it for free?
If you suspect Fraud it is time to take your evidence to APS and ask they open a case. If you have no evidence you should consider getting guardianship of your demented Mom if you wish to have it. If you do not wish to have it (YOU would then be the Fiduciary with all the burdens of that task in meticulous record keeping. You could also consider becoming the representative payee for your Mom's social security. Look on their site to see what all is involved; it's a lot.
You Mom apparently put her DIL on her accounts, or her name is there since the passing of her husband.
I think ultimately, if she is not open with you and you are worried, you are stuck with seeking guardianship.
If yes and no, and you are not POA for your mom, then it is none of your business what is happening with the money.
Your step sister owns the account, there is no such thing as signatory rights with any bank that I have ever done business with. You are a joint account holder and you have as much right to the money in the account as the other joint account holder.
Obviously, her dad trusted her to take care of his wife after his death or he wouldn't have put her in control of the finances.
What is it that makes you question the situation now?
There are a lot of harsh comments here that seem unnecessary about what your prior relationship may or may not have been with your mom. None of us has any information that qualifies us to judge that. I hope going forward you can share some quality moments with your mom. In the end those memories are what will mean the most.
Before anyone comments this happened to me. My mom had my sibling & myself on her accounts with her as joint owners. My sibling went in & closed the account & opened a new one without my name on it.
I contacted the bank & they told me it was perfectly legal even though it was my mom’s SS & pension checks that were going in there. They told me that any one of us could have done that.
It is worth calling and asking.
You wrote:
"Sense (sic) that person is an official signer on the account she can spend the money how ever she sees fit unless it’s proven she knew your mother was not of sound mind . "
This is not true. DPOAs and POAs, if properly prepared, specify the range of assets covered, the actions that can be taken, and from what I've seen, in enough detail to provide limitations with a given range.
The fiduciary is not given free range outside of the needs of the primary individual. No one can spend however he or she sees fit, regardless of mental status. And certainly no one can lawfully spend funds on herself.
This is why it is so important to understand POAs and how adding someone to your account might impact you. If it's a trustworthy person, ok. Otherwise, beware.
I have bigger issue with her assumptions that we can "allow" someone to do this or that we can take steps to stop it without legal intervention first (she does mention legal, but AFTER stating it shouldn't have been allowed by OP and/or they should have stopped it - how would they even know?)
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