We recently got my MIL new hearing aides and she's refusing to use them. How far to go to make her wear them?

It is hard for people to tell that the hearing aids are working sometimes. My mom had vascular dementia and she absolutely could not perceive or understand that when she had her device working we did not have to shout and she was not b*tching everyone out for mumbling all the time. It did not make a cound or flash a light to indicate it was working! So, she mainly just did not want to bother, but I'd put them in when I came. She "lost" one pair that I suspect were wrong for her - they were in-the-ear and she had the same hearing loss as me, only worse. You might get some mileage out of a radio or recording set just so they can't hear it before putting the aids in, so that will be pretty dramatic to show that they work. I've had times where I can hear birds chirping with but not without my aids.

I've had a high frequency sensorineural hearing loss since my late 40s and have learned a lot about hearing and hearing aids! There are times I can't wear mine, like during and after a migraine, and I would not be wearing them at all if I had not finally been presented with an open-fit design, or if my audiologist was not willing to do a little unconventional adjustment to avoid amplifying low frequencies at all ("but it'll be tinny - you won't like that!" she said...) The first guy I saw tried to sell me in-canal aids had the nerve to accuse me of being unmotivated when I realized in about 1 minute they were going to trigger a migraine and would be incompatible with my stethoscope - he did not take the trouble to research adapters that were in fact available and he also assumed that I would prioritize having something small and inconspicuous - wrong on that one too. I learned from that experience, and I hope he did too, but I doubt it. My current hearing aids are bright red Phonak behind-the-ear with slim tubes and don't amplify anything under about 300-400 hz if I remember right.

I am probably needing to switch to a more powerful receiver-in-canal and I'm putting it off for no particularly good reason, except yeah, I'm familiar with my current technology and it works pretty well. It does not give me normal hearing and I go without it quite a bit, when I will not have to try to understand soft spoken voices in noisy environments. I probably miss some cool nature sounds that way; but if I am doing something active outdoors, I worry they will fall out, and you can't risk getting them wet either.

So - what can I say - "satisfied old user" can be a valid excuse not to change design or to change as little as possible - and make sure the aids really are right for that person. A lot of people will, frustratingly, ALWAYS tell the professional what they think they want to hear, and maybe you can get out of them later what the actual problems might be and relay that information for them. "Oh that's fine" means OK, the audiologist can get on with their day full of other patients, but the devil is in the details and it may not be a new hearing aid that is needed but a reprogramming of what you've got. And I'll tell you what, I'm non-interested in a remote control (I'll lose it! Sometimes I feel like just one more Important thing to keep constant track of and my brain will implode...) or a design that does not let me adjust anything, because the processor will way too often pick the wrong program in some of my settings where I have very specific needs to hear the person in front of me and not the one right behind me, yet the overall environment is very quiet. This is no time for a cookie-cutter approach - getting a hearing aid solution that's worth the trouble of wearing one can be no mean feat. But it can truly be worth the effort. The paranoia and left-outedness of being unable to hear can be very, very painful.

Makes me wonder if those ear horns or ear trumpets from back in the early 1900's would work just as well.... one definitely wouldn't lose it :)

Hah! freqflyer, I like the idea...they could be decorative and very classy...and people would KNOW to "talk to the ear" when you brought it out.

I am dealing with that with my Mom, every couple years she will get a new hearing aid and she's surprised she can't hear any better than using her old hearing aid.... she is in denial that it is her hearing that can't be fix, not the hearing aid itself.

Thus, she is more comfortable with the old hearing aid because she knows how to work it... the newer one is a bit different, came with a remote control that she has yet to figure out....

Now she is walking around with the newer one which is squealing constantly... hopefully tomorrow the ear doctor will be able to correct that, and once again try to explain to my Mom there isn't any magic hearing aid that will make her hear like she did when she was younger.

I also have this same problem with my Mom regarding her eyesight... she has severe macular degeneration in both eyes... she still believes if she gets new lenses that she will be able to see 20/20. Sadly that ship has sailed. Poor lady, I couldn't image not seeing or hearing everything around you.

vstefans, makes me wonder what will be the future for hearing technology.... I know, an app on a cellphone where one can put their ear to the cell and use it like a hearing aid.

Ok, if that works, I want royalties on the idea :0

Freqflyer it isn't easy is it? We got Mom new aids about five years ago - made sure they were not the kind she could turn up and down and of course she hated that, but is now used to them. Its a good thing because most of the time, she can't tell when the batteries are dead....... at 99, we understand she can't help it. We have the eye issue also. She had catarac surgery on one eye 20 years ago with no problem, and was scheduled for the other eye 10 years ago. The day before surgery she panicked, got all upset, hysterical and made us cancel. (she absolutely freaked out when she had a mole removed a few years ago, phone calls, didn't follow doctor directions, etc) Now she constantly complains she can't see out of the eye. Her dementia is such she brings it up every time we see her, sits there holding her hand over her eye, blinking, blinking, saying she has to get glasses. For the past 5 years we have explained it is too late for surgery and glasses won't help, etc - does no good - we hear it every single day and give the same answer every single day. And yes, we know some seniors could have the surgery even at that age, but Mom's dementia is such that she is not a candidate. She cannot follow directions, takes bandages off despite notes all over the house not to. She would get hysterical over any bandage or pain, and would rub her eye despite being told not to. There is no way we could get her through the preparation and follow-up of such a procedure because she is not competent and couldn't be left alone even for an hour. And still, she would rub it and ruin everything. Not to mention the risks of such surgery which the doctor is concerned with. Its sad, but at least she has perfect vision in the other eye.

Obviously the tech was wrong. If the new ones aren't perfectly synchronized, she will get an echo effect. Put them on yourself and analyze what YOU hear.

My mother's hearing is at a 90% loss. She never went for hearing aides. That is how she wants it. I live 1500 miles from her, so I don't talk to her on the phone at all. Hearing aides might have helped 30 years ago, but there is a learning process to them and I know she can't do that. She is 95.

It is very frustrating to try and talk to her.

My good friend is an MD and he told me that expensive $4,000 hearing aids are the same ones that are sold for $400.00 in a hunting store. The hunting type has better batteries, too. My brother in law is wearing those, somewhat successfully.

BTW, I wasted a fair amount of $$ between my bad and my good audiology experiences trying to find a workable off-the shelf cheap solution - none of them had enough adjustment, and hunting ones would be an absolute fail for most of us with high frequency loss.