Should we feel guilty for not putting a meal in front of him or is it okay once in awhile if we're too tired to cook?
I am wondering what everyone else does with their elderly parents.. My sister & I have taken turns having dad live in our home and if we are too tired to make a meal he won't fix himself anything to eat and he won't eat. Should we feel guilty for not putting a meal in front of him or is it ok once in awhile if we're too tired to cook?my sister has 6 kids and a husband and some nights she doesn't feed anybody they sort of fend for themselves but my dad won't even fix anything and he is perfectly capable of getting himself something to eat.we have finally after 4 months I got him back to being fairly healthy and eating 3 meals a day snacks and drinking enough water so I imagine one missed meal won't be that bad but in my sister's case this may happen 3 times a week.what do you all think?
How much trouble is it really, to put a Healthy Choice dinner in the microwave for him? Or to buy a $6 rotisseried chicken for him to nosh on? Buy one for the week, and on those days sis (and you) don't want to cook, bring pieces to room temperature and give him some deli slaw. Picnic time!
Your dad is not necessarily "lazy" but is reacting as his generation mostly did. He has certain life-long expectations. Yes, they could be retrained, but I'm not sure it would be worth it. You don't have to feel guilty about whatever you decide -- just don't try to make him feel guilty for behaving as he was taught to behave.
When I'm away from her, I call her and pester her all the way through the meal. I make sure she gets herself out of her chair, goes to the freezer, gets it out, etc..., until the moment she's putting it on the table and getting herself a fork. At that point, we hang up and she eats. I don't know if that would work for your dad, but it's easier than worrying about her forgetting to eat.
I know she's doing it because:
* She's griping all the way through.
* I can hear clinking and such.
:-)
No doubt he COULD fix himself something to eat, but retraining him at this point might be harder than just putting a simple sandwich together for him.
Meh, it's still a grey area. Even three times a week… ok not ideal… any real harm, to the extent that he'd be starving and unable to speak up about it? No. On the other hand, how long does it take to fix him a chicken sandwich?
No don't feel guilty. Sort out something that suits you, otherwise don't worry about it.
No, you should NOT feel guilty. If you're not with him and he's capable of feeding himself and just is somewhat too lazy, I wouldn't feel too badly about it occasionally being the case.
Also, if everyone's doing the best they can and it's just an occasional thing, I wouldn't worry too much about it. However, if your sister has 6 kids, part of their chore wheel could be taking turns making a plate for grandpa when you make one for yourself and he never has to miss a meal. And if the kids want to guilt grandpa into reciprocating, sometimes, more power to them!
My dad was old school, but he knew how to get up and search the kitchen for a snack, pick up a piece of fruit or some ham and cheese slices. Later in life he also figured out how to clear his own plate! He also understood the cook was off on Sundays, he took the family out for dinner.
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