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My Aunt called my Mom (her sister) and it was nice, even though Mom couldn't hear or understand. She was excited and happy...So, I was happy.
My aunt never bothered to call her sister after my Dad died 4 years ago ( I informed everyone in the family at that time) and she whined at me because my Mom has dementia. She even wanted to know what is "really" going on...as if I would tell her anything specific when she hasn't bothered for almost a decade. I told her that Mom is like Grandma (their mom) and just remember what that was like. At which point my aunt got even more whiny and finally it turned into her sending a letter by snail mail.
Mom couldn't really hear her but was excited and then assumed someone died.... I told her that she would have told me and I pointed out the date and said that it probably was Christmas thing.
Mom's happy, my aunt is whiny, and all is right with the world. LOL

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She probably didn’t know it was her sister…what was the reason for her call? An ulterior motive? I’m suspicious 🤨.
Hugs 🤗
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I think every family has that one relative. Mine was my Dads sister. She always wanted to be in your business. Bragged how she took care of her mother when the oldest daughter just picked up and left her. Untrue. My oldest Aunt was also the oldest daughter. She was expected to help care for the younger ones. She missed school when her mother had one of her spells, she had 8 kids total. The OD held down a full-time job and had 2 children of her own. When my grandmother got older, my Aunt, OD, would pick her up from work, take her to my Aunts house where she would eat dinner and spend the night. Then in the morning, drive her Mom back to her own home, go to work and then start all over. Many a time ODs son would spend the night with grandmom. What did youngest do during that time, nothing. OD ended up moving to AZ. Her Mom got worse with ALZ so YD took her in where her 20 yr old daughter was living too so I know my cousin did a lot. It lasted 2 yrs and then YD placed her in a NH. But...she took care of her Mom when her sister wouldn't. None of us cousins cared for her. She was snoopy and just annoying. I did feel sorry for her because she died without a friend. Now her husband, loved him.
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cashew, I think there are lots of whiny aunts. My mom's sister said that my mom was faking being blind and deaf and that she didn't try to hear or see. We just avoided her.
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2021
That's terrible. Doesn't try, sheesh.
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An attitude I've encountered often both in real life and here on the forum is that there is no point attempting to have a relationship with someone with dementia because they won't remember anyway, when the extra difficulties of deafness or visual impairment make communication difficult I think that just reinforces that belief.
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Sometimes very small kindnesses and courtesies with no expectation of reward, will surprisingly yield ENORMOUS BENEFITS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. You sound like a wise and confident offspring.
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Cashew - I am glad you're happy, after all it's Christmas.
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Cashew: Well, at least your mom is happy.💛
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