His dementia is not just memory loss, rather he has become very childlike. He lacks empathy and laughs at nothing. He makes faces at people and sticks his tongue out at them. He has become very touchy feely at his daycare. His daycare nurse suggested medicating him, but his doctors have taken him off most of his medicine as they were not effective. She then suggested a psych eval. He's already had one, but I have not received the results yet. I could handle memory loss, but I am having problems with him being so deranged. At what point does he move from daycare to more comprehensive care?
Absolutely check with his Dr. or pharmacist but when people have dementia it can and often does change their entire personality. It's so much more than just memory loss and often the behavior is very childlike which is why many people compare toddlers with someone with dementia. I don't think that's very nice or respectful but I can understand how one can make the comparison.
There is no one point someone reaches when they need more comprehensive care. Dementia affects different people in different ways.
Deciding when someone needs 24-hour care is a personal decision that has to be made by the family/caregiver. How much can you take? Is he a danger to himself or others? Is he becoming bed-bound? Many factors go into the decision-making process.
See what the psych evaluation says and talk to the Dr. who administered it as to medications that might be helpful. I'm all for medicating someone with dementia but there's a fine line between medicated and zombie. And like dementia, medications affect people differently. If my dad so much as looked at Xanax he'd be out cold for 2 days.
Any new or sudden behavior changes that you can't attribute to dementia or that seem not quite right should be reported to his Dr.
Dementia can include many kinds of behavioral issues. Some can be managed with drugs and most can be helped by the kind of care they get. (That is, poor care practices can make things worse.)
When the recent evaluation report is ready, I hope you will discuss it with the doctor in detail. Discuss the specific issues that arise in day care.
As to when he is ready to move from daycare to more comprehensive care, that is mainly a factor of when you are ready for it to happen. If he were single, he would probably need to be in a care center now. Learn all you can about dealing with someone who has dementia. Ask questions here. Look up Teepa Snow videos online. Do your best. And when your best is not enough to keep him safe and content without sacrificing your own sanity and health, then switch from being his hands-on caregiver to being his care manager and advocate with him in an appropriate level care center.
Warm hugs to you, dear lady. I know first hand how devastating it is to have a spouse with dementia. This is TOUGH. It is not your fault. You'll get through this.
We all have to remember that one out of every three Caregiver passes on leaving behind the person they were caring. Dementia, as you know, will only get worse, not better :(