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I am my Dad's POA and patient advocate. He is in assisted living and his mind is still sharp. I had to put him in assisted living because I can't take care of him anymore. He has accused me of yanking him out of his home, he asked me if the offer still stood to move in with me. I want someone to take over his financial matters so I don't get accused of stealing money.

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You may be accused of stealing no matter who handles the money. The simplest solution is to keep copius records of all transactions involving your dads funds. Do not co mingle his money with yours in anyway.
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One suggestion would be to hire a CPA to either handle all the financial matters including bill paying, or to just handle stocks/bonds/large accounts. Then that way if you need to transfer money from a large account over to your father's checking account to pay a bill, it would need to go through the CPA. Of course, there will be a fee for this, and that would come out of your Dad's funds.
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I do agree with Don and Windy to some extent, however I think it is real important to bring in your siblings in the very beginning if possible. If they refuse to help then go with Don and Windy. In my personal experience, I did attempt to share the responsibilities in the beginning, but my brothers in law and sisters in law felt they didnt have to do anything. Their excuse, they all worked. It didnt matter I was disabled. No wonder I am hospitalized every year for the last 10 years for some sickness from pneumonia to pulmonary embolism to hepatitis etc.... all from care giver burn out I believe, from no support for a seriously ill medically intensive man now with severe dementia. My point is that no one knows how long they will live and your dad could be here a couple more decades. The stress from doing all his financial responsibilities can add up over time and that doesnt include stress from doctors appointments, pharmacy phone calls, insurance phone calls, medical decisions, ER visits, etc..... prepare yourself for the long haul.
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Windyridge is right. Even if you hire someone to take care of stocks and bonds or other financial instruments. It does not need to be too complicated. Does your dad have a credit card? If so get a card on that account with your name so that you can make purchases for him. The monthly statement is excellent documentation. As you make each purchase write on the receipt exactly what was purchased if it is not already on the receipt. Keep the receipts and staple them to the credit card bill when it arrives.

Set up a financial journal. Just use a nice sized journal where you cannot tear out the pages. Write in columns, if it doesn't have the, to look like a checkbook. I know you already have a checkbook for his account(s) but in the journal you can write in details for each check if necessary and any explanation. The check to assisted living would need no explanation on a regular basis, but if 1 month your father needed something additional and the cost that month was higher, then you explain that in the journal. It is a bit of additional work but think it through, set up a few file folders, and all will be well.

Also, in my opinion, it wouldn't hurt to keep in touch with family members and when they ask about your dad (or bring it up yourself) say how he is doing and then anything you have done recently such as "his socks were getting pretty thin and there was an excellent sale at _______, so I bought him a dozen pair." By continuing this conversation you have a support system.

And remember to breathe. You are in this for the long haul. Been there - doing that.
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The previous poster is right. My experience has shown me that if you are worried about being accused of stealing then your fears are probably real and most likely if you hire someone, as with my best friend, then the family with blame you for hiring someone. It is best, to do your absolute best to not care what anyone says. I learned years ago doing a lot of volunteer work and I found the same with care giving, "10% of the people do 90% of the work and the 90% that do little or nothing complain about the 10% do." Do your best to have your siblings come together to make the decisions, but in most families most of the work in dumped on one person. I am lucky on my fathers side. All my aunts and uncles came together for my grandmother when she had dementia for 10 years at home and now they work together as a well oil machine for my grandfather who is 97 and still at home. They all share in the responsibilities and when they have to pay for part time help or bills it comes out of the estate. According to my father in laws doctor, which I have become close to caring for my father in law for 9 years since his first stroke, my family is the exception to the rule. She told me most families leave most of the work for one person. Best wishes in whatever you do.
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I would consider Vanguard brokerage the largest mutual fund company by far....the cost is 1/3 of one percent of his assets per year...(Many advisors charge 2% and steer clients into funds that add even more fees.) Tell them what he wants in terms of risk tolerance and forget about it....They have an impeccable reputation...
Grace + Peace,,

Bob
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Have separate banks & send emails about anything unusual like buying hearing aids or appointments etc - I include date, dr's name, address, phone # so I have a record for myself too because I copy myself - my cousin did this so when my aunt passed away nobody could object to expenditures because they never said anything at the time -

When in doubt copy them - after a while of small boring emails they will be more aware of what you are doing too - I ask for visitation while I'm away of vacation but that rarely happens
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Hi NanaB. Your question reads like it's your father who is making accusations, not siblings. Remember that while your dad is still sharp, he is having to face harsh realities that could make the sharpest among us cantankerous. It may not be " others" opinions you are concerned about so much as your fathers criticism. Consider a therapist regardless of whether you receive outside support for your fathers finances. It's hard to go against our parents wishes. We naturally want to please them. When you are at peace within yourself, he will be at more peace himself and better able to accept this new chapter in his life. A little perspective helps you and him.
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nanabuffey, you protect yourself by asking the court to appoint you as the guardian of the estate (conservator) and the guardian of the person (ward) by court order. You are then supervised by the court and send in annual reports. If you are making an error, the court will tell you.
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In California and probably other states, too - we have professional fiduciaries.
I have a revocable living trust - which provides for a PFAC (Professional Fiduciary Association of California) member (that I have chosen) to take over for me as trustee in the event I am incapacitated or deceased (care for my pets will continue for their lifetimes under the trust - this could also be used for a spouse or other dependent.) The fiduciary is licensed and bonded and must act according to the terms of the trust. (I have no family I would want in this capacity). If your father is of sound mind e can still make this trust - and it sure will save a lot of problems when his time comes (If you have relatives who would give you problems now - just wait until it's time to "get their share".)
With the trust and a professional fiduciary problem solved.
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