Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You know, nursing homes are not for everyone! People are so quick to say that, even assisted living takes time and money. But if they are not absolutely needing to go, then they should stay at home. It costs a bit of money, but I called a company who came in my home. I had them come from 7:30 until 4 pm so I could work, run errands. It cost 20.50 an hour. They would read to her, bathe her and fix her meals. Beware of agencies that are "locators" I found these places just wanted your email address so they could send endless junk. I was lucky to have a friend refer them to me. They were privately owned and the even helped with light chores. That's when the old fashioned phone book works best. But simply "put them in a nursing home" is not easy, not necessary until the end, and very costly. Plus, do people realize that before the elderly can go anywhere - they need to be assessed first by the facility? Good luck.
I think that by asking this question you're aware that you're trying to do something you can't. What are you looking for in the way of permission or advice? You know you need help. I am confident that you will find the kind of help that fits your situation.
Not possible to do and stay sane. There is help in the community and I would suggest that you seek some really good advice before you completely burn out. This is not a win-win for anyone. Call you local Area Agency on Aging (these agencies are in every state and provide great information) and help both of you out of a very difficult and non-productive situation. One last bit of advice start today!
Depending on how much care this person needs they may be eligible for some services through Medicare or Medicaid or even the VA. If this person is a Veteran or the widow of a Veteran contact your local Veteran's service office and find out if they are eligible for some " Aide and Attendance or a Veterans Disability Pension to help with the costs of having someone come in during the day when you are gone to work.
I've known very spry, engaged 90+ year-olds and I've also seen folks who, despite extraordinary efforts to reach them, are literally just waiting for their ticket to be punched and simply want their physical needs taken care of in the meantime. So, it depends upon the individual. Full-time home care is very expensive (generally much more costly than assisted living and unaffordable for most people) and, for many, isolating. If were a 91 year-old capable of socializing in any way, I'd like to have the company of others, even if just to watch the action. Also, if someone needs a lot of care, once the full-time aide goes home for the day, who provides the care? The loved one who just came home from a full day's work. It's absolutely true that checking your parent into an assisted living community doesn't leave you footloose and fancy-free. You're still going to be running errands, managing finances, spending lots of time there, and of course, being on call. However, it does mean you can at least put your feet up at the end of your work day, have a good night's sleep, and enjoy the company of your friends and family on the weekends. Also, many find they are able to have a renewed and more pleasant relationship with their parent.
I did this by using a medical adult daycare. I hired someone for 2 hours mornings to get mom up, dressed and to daycare as I had to be at work by 7am. I got out of work and picked her up every day right afterwards. After 4 years I then left my job to take care of Mom fulltime because money ran out and its SO difficult. Its much easier working outside the home, it keeps you sane and gives you more energy to spend the evening and weekends with your Mom. Good Luck!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But simply "put them in a nursing home" is not easy, not necessary until the end, and very costly. Plus, do people realize that before the elderly can go anywhere - they need to be assessed first by the facility? Good luck.
Full-time home care is very expensive (generally much more costly than assisted living and unaffordable for most people) and, for many, isolating. If were a 91 year-old capable of socializing in any way, I'd like to have the company of others, even if just to watch the action.
Also, if someone needs a lot of care, once the full-time aide goes home for the day, who provides the care? The loved one who just came home from a full day's work.
It's absolutely true that checking your parent into an assisted living community doesn't leave you footloose and fancy-free. You're still going to be running errands, managing finances, spending lots of time there, and of course, being on call. However, it does mean you can at least put your feet up at the end of your work day, have a good night's sleep, and enjoy the company of your friends and family on the weekends. Also, many find they are able to have a renewed and more pleasant relationship with their parent.