My father is in a care facility. He has been there 4 months. He complains about the food all the time and is now refusing to eat which is causing weight loss. I have eaten in the dining hall before when I visited in my option, the food is not bad. He wants food he is not supposed to have such as greasy, fatty foods. His nurse says he has also become obsessed with his weight but refuses snacks and etc. when they offer it. But he will eat snacks brought by me or his friends. My concern is the weight loss. He even told me that they told him that he might have to have a feeding tube. I checked with two of his nurses and they said they have not told him this.
I think he is doing this on purpose to make you worry . He is a mentally ill abusive man . Don’t even get involved . If he wants to starve himself , let him . I have no patience for abusive manipulative people like your father . It’s his life , if he wants to starve , so be it .
Also alot of elderly slowly give up and don’t eat . Everyone leaves this world somehow . Either way it’s his choice to not eat.
My mother in her elder years also became the fast food queen . I brought it once a week . She got used to the food at AL , stopped complaining about it . Then as time went on , she admitted to not being very hungry anymore anyway, which is common as they get older .
My husband was at home, and ate less and less as his health deteriorated. I did not worry about whether the foods he chose to eat were good for him, I was just glad he ate something. His last day of eating, he ate four bites of the pizza he had requested, and was satisfied.
While the food in the dining hall may have been satisfactory to you, the older we get, the more salt we want to bring out the flavor, and I will bet that salt isn't even offered. So, while it may have tasted okay to you, he might find it very bland.
I wonder if he doesn't like to eat alone or with strangers, so when you or his friends bring him snacks, he eats them because he is with people he knows.
Just a few random thoughts.
This is what eating disorders are all about, not about being thin, or looking good. It's about control. When my life is out of control I , control the only thing I have left and that's food. Sence joining this forum I will say , I've gotten my control back and gained some weight. Which is why I joined because my old habits of not eating where coming back. Your dad is not in control of his life anymore, so he is controlling the only thing he has left.
At 79 years old please talk to others on this forum about feeding tubes, from everything I here they are horrendous.
I will also say that , not eating will very likely be my way out of this world, and I hope those around me accept that.
Also Alva often says that older people need little nutrients to keep them going for an extended period of time.
I'm wondering, have you tried eating meals with him. Sometimes that helps. Not that you should feel like you have to be there at every meal , just wondering if he eats better when your there. It makes it more automatic and less thinking about the food.
Have they tried any meds? An anti anxiety med or a appetite booster?
Ignore it.
Maybe stop bringing him snacks so he doesn’t fill up on those. Remember elder = toddler. Just like a two year old he won’t eat his meal if he fills up on something else.
It is true that the elderly eat less and sleep more, but Dad's obsession is likely more a part of his general aging and his reactions to being in care.
You know Dad, it's always SOMEthing.
Here's dad's attempt # 1,531 to snooker you into taking him home with you. By refusing to eat. So be it, dad. If you choose to starve yourself (totally doubtful), then there's nothing I can do to force you to eat.
I'd continue bringing him snacks, as usual, then ignore the blatant manipulation techniques.
Now he says he is eating again. As I said on an earlier reply, I have to let it go before I have a stroke or heart attack because he is never satisfied.
My dad just decided to dislike food one day, I was freaking out!
I decided to give him “milkshakes”
high calorie boost, frozen fruit, strawberry or orange syrup and a scoop of protein powder
it has kept his weight up and he likes them
In my opinion, give him what he wants, let him be happy
maybe ask him to eat or drink his calories during the week and on the weekend you could take him his guilty pleasure food
i know it’s hard not to worry and even lose sleep, there are a lot of hurdles to get through and some of them aren’t in our control
take care
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